To Plan or Not To Plan...

I've never been much of a planner. (In my personal life, I mean. Professionally, it's not really an option. When doing PR, you sort of have to plan.)

My longtime and super wise friend Jane and I used to have joking discussions about her penchants to plan just about everything, and my penchant for playing it all by ear.

I used to think my spontanaeity was part of my charm.

Lately, I wonder if that was the case, or if it was just, well, ill-planned. Or irresponsible. Or fun for that moment, but not now.

Are you a planner? Either way, has your mode benefited you? I seriously want to hear. I feel if I'm at a stage of life where I'm questioning my own wisdom (or lack thereof) in this area, then I need to feel out what there is to know about it.

So speak up, please. If you don't chime in, who will?

can't take my mind off you

For the past 29 years, I really thought growing up would come in the form of a birthday, or maybe a relationship, or possibly some career- or family- or health-related event. Instead, it's been with me everywhere I've gone these past few weeks, and it looks very different than I thought it would.

There is nothing right or normal or understandable about any girl dealing with the pain of her mother's illness since she was in junior high, and becoming completely parentless the month she turns 30. I guess it's even harder to swallow when that girl is someone I know well and love deeply.

For seven years, I've wondered if I was supposed to be angry or guilty or sad about this situation, because heaven knows I've experienced all those emotions plus some during this rich, full, life-changing friendship with sweet Jane. I wish I'd already had the great epiphany that is bound to show me what to feel now that my dear friend is preparing to bury virtually her last remaining family member, but I haven't. All I know for certain is that I can't take my mind off her, but maybe I'm not supposed to. Maybe it's good to be constantly reminded that she needs her friend, despite the angry, guilty, sad, contemplative or otherwise seemingly wrong feelings that are stirring inside of rebekah that day.

Adulthood. And so it is.