To All the Foods I've Loved Before.

In the past few years, I've gained quite a bit of weight. It's not pretty.

I won't blame it on the food, since this problem only started after I hit 30, but I would like to pay some homage to the lovely, decadent delicacies I enjoyed (whenever, in whatever quantities) before my notably agist metabolism screeched to a halt:

 
• Bread. Sure, people talked about carbs (blah, blah, blah), but WHO KNEW?! I literally ate entire
  loaves of French bread between Gulfport and Saucier during college, but never dreamed this could be an issue. Until the ominous age of 32, that is. Now I could look at a bag of flour and only cancel it out by spending three days and nights at the gym. I miss you, bread.

• Chocolate. Right?! I know that sounds crazy, but it's true. Apparently it's not normal to be able to wake up famished at 3am and dig into a bag of Hershey's Kisses with no repercussions...until you're 32. Gotta watch that. Hmmpfh.

• Anything involving flour. (See #1.). I know this sounds weird, but it's true. Pasta. Biscuits (which, technically, is bread). Dumplings. Cake. Cookies. Hush puppies! All these things are included in the first bullet. Though I was never addicted to all of them like I was just plain bread. Sigh.

• Desserts. See last bullet.

• Anything else. It appears it doesn't matter what I eat. Now that my metabolism is anti-RJ, I could literally eat lettuce 24/7 and it will not make the slightest difference. I wish I was exaggerating.

So, my point is, I clearly cannot eat whatever, whenever, in however much quantity.You might ask, why blog about this?

Good question.

I blog about this to tell those people who enjoy no-risk binging this: ENJOY IT. Really. Whether or not it will ever end, just enjoy it. It's like good hair, or clear skin, or nice bone structure. You did nothing to deserve or earn it, but not everyone has the privilege. So enjoy!

Also, I submit the following note to the foods I've loved before (including, but not in any way limited to: pastas, baked goods, white rice, breads of all varieties, buffalo wings, ice creams, fatty granola bars, sugary cereals, deceptively tiny candies, boudin balls, etc):

Dear All The Foods I've Loved Before:

You were so good, but not necessarily good to me. (It's not your fault. I didn't know, either.)

So, I wish you the best in your endeavors. Unlike other unhealthy relationships in my life, I'm not saying goodbye forever, but rather, see you later. I won't see you as often as in the past, but I won't cut you out altogether. I just need you in low-dosages now.

And, finally, while you're not necessarily GOOD for society as a whole, it's really not you. It's me.

That is all.

Love,

rj

FLASHBACK: A Southern Baptist's Crack at Lent.

In honor of the season, I'm flashing back blog-style to my very first Lenten participation.

The year was 2008, the setting was my first Mardi Gras in the BR, and my first one back in Mardi Gras/Catholic majority territory since moving from the MS Gulf Coast in '99.

And the blog format was -- wait for it -- MySpace.

That's right, kids. We all have our sordid pasts to live with. I appreciate those of you sturdy and willing enough to look past mine and read on.

Thursday, February 7, 2008


a Southern Baptist’s crack at Lent

I am giving up bread for the Lenten season.



Those who know me well might ask yourselves, "Why would a Southern Baptist girl give up anything for Lent?"



Well, in the midst of all this Catholicism over here in the BR, and especially during the Mardi Gras season, I have become much more aware of the meanings of these things, and since my friends here are making sacrifices in honor of the sacrifice Jesus made for us, I thought, "I might could do that, too."



So far, I am on Day 2 and I have only had one Subway sandwich. (That was yesterday, when the Subway Sandwich Artist told me she could not make me a salad. What else was I to do? Tonight, however, I managed to eat around the rice in my leftovers, which I considered a huge practice of discipline.)



The second question you may ask yourself is, "Why bread?"



I can understand the puzzlement, because when my coworker Shannon brought it up as her sacrifice, I laughed myself silly at her. I was like, "No way would I give up bread! Pasta! Cookies! Crackers! Bagels?!"



But then I started thinking about it beyond my surface level and realized that would represent a TRUE sacrifice for me. (I do love my bread.)



So there you have it. Pray for me.







Currently watching : Lost - The Complete Third SeasonRelease date: By 11 December, 2007



6 Comments - 7 Kudos



From one bread lover to another...Godspeed!

Posted by Bethanie on February 7, 2008 - Thursday 7:22 PM



Boy, do I understand. No one here has ever really understood when I try to do this each year. But, I am a Catholic out of water over here in Big Baptist, Mississippi. I always try to give up Cokes, but usually fail by day 3 or 4. This year, I'm giving up french fries. Yep - I said it! French fries, baby! ....eh, we'll see how it goes. Hopefully more than the standard 4 days :)

Posted by Skye on February 7, 2008 - Thursday 9:16 PM



i've done this before as a southern baptist. chocolate was my sacrifice. it gives you a feeling of overwhelming accomplishment. hang in there.

Posted by monica on February 8, 2008 - Friday 6:55 AM



You will be happy to know that I too have given up a few things for Lent:

1) Liver

2) Goat cheese

3) The worm in the tequila

4) Raw red meat

5) And last but not least, moldy bread

I knew you would be proud of me!

Posted by Greg Mo on February 15, 2008 - Friday 9:14 PM

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Sacrifice: No walk in Candyland.

My sister's church practices Lent and Advent and such, and my nephew goes to the church's preschool, so his class decided as a group to give something up for Lent. (I really thought that was a cute idea.)

But don't worry, because they're giving up Candyland for Lent. And according to Kim, Caleb's reaction was, "For FORTY days and nights, Mom! NO Candyland!"

And I thought bread and junky carbs would be tough.