It's coming... It's coming!

In case you haven't noticed, Mother's Day is quickly approaching.

Now, I'm not a mom (much to my grandmother and daddy's chagrin, but to those who know me best's SERIOUS relief), but I do think from observance that I know what the best gifts are.

The most popular, winning, most awesome gifts you can give your mom or wife for Mother's Day include, but are not limited to, the following:

• Anything from the heart. This sounds cheesy, but I mean it. If your gift is words, give it. Sit down, write something about what your mom means to you, and just give it to her, already. It will mean the world to her. If you can afford to accompany it with something you purchase, fine. If not, do.not.worry. For real.
  
• A little bit of free time. Again, this is not coming from a mama, but I've been observing for a while and I hear a few of them like to do things in peace when they have opportunity. Think. Read. Cook. Shop. Whatever. IT'S NOT YOU; IT'S THEM. Seriously. Can you fathom someone tugging at your leg every second of your life? Exactly. Me neither. So if there's any way you can give 'em a day, an hour, a half-day, a DAY EACH WEEK, a day each MONTH, a. day. every. quarter. even (?) o' peace...wow. You so win. Seriously.
  
• Public affection. I'm not into this, and I don't mean PDA (like being gross in front of everyone), but you know, showing you love someone in front of people they care about is really never a bad thing. So flowers, showing up at their office to take them to lunch, giving them something to wear that they can say, "Rebekah gave me this because she said I'm the best mother EVER!" (agh! Have I done that?!) -- that's the good stuff. In my opinion. And I believe in the opinions of the moms I've been inadvertently observing during my childbearing years.
  
• Not limiting your affection to that day. My cousin, whom I'd totally set all you single females up with if he wasn't married to the.best.girl.on.earth.ever, describes Valentine's Day the way I feel about it, but the way I didn't think a guy ever would: "Why does one day matter so much? If you really love someone the way you should and show it in a relationship, does a Hallmark holiday even matter?" THANK YOU, MY FRIEND. And the great part is that his wife would agree. (I'm pretty sure of this. I didn't confirm with her. I'm sorry, Alicia, if you don't. :-|.) But showing your love in even a little way -- because aren't the little ways the best? -- each day mean WAY more than one big 2 dozen red rose deliveries on Valentine's Day or Mother's Day or whatever the occasion is. If you're secure in the relationship, you don't need the rest. Am I right?

Ok. That might be all I have on Mother's Day, but you probably have more to add. The good news is, you can add it! Please do. I have SUCH limited experience. (As my Nan and Daddy despair over.) ;-) 

To all of you who have babies and are slaving away over the daily tasks, I pray you get a moment's relief and that you feel elated on your day, and on each day. 

To all who are wanting children but do not have them, I pray you find solace that you are not alone. There are so many caring, deserving, wonderful ladies who desire children and have so much to offer babies. I pray for you. Really. Daily. I'm not sure why I don't crave this, but I pray the child you are ready to dote your affection on comes to your home sooner versus later, and that you find him or her through adoption, or fostering, or whatever way you are supposed to. 

Either way, Happy Mother's Day. I truly believe motherhood is in the heart. If you've got the gene, savor it. It's special, and so are you.

Much love.

Watering the Weeds.

Ever since I've moved into my new place, I haven't had a lot of time to tackle the flowerbeds or yard. (This is all much to the chagrin of my neighbor Foxy, of course, who has to look at the jungles a lot more often than I do.) Because there were some plants worth keeping in the existing beds, I just kept watering them in hopes they'd still be thriving when I finally got the opportunity to take care of them and their nasty intruders.

And might I say, it's been a jungle out there. When I mentioned to Foxy that I had plans to tackle the outside once I had the time to get the inside a little more organized, she heartily answered, "That is GREAT!" Clearly, it was on her mind -- and in her line of vision -- a lot. (She then informed me I could do it that day, if I wanted. I explained to her it was kind of hot -- this was at the end of August/beginning of September...in South Lousiana, at that -- and that I wanted to do it all in one day, when I had the time. She, in typical Foxy style, persisted, "But even if you just got out there and did a THIRD of it, it would make all the difference in the world!")

This has become a running joke with some friends, as many Foxy quotes have. ;-)

As much as I've laughed over that, I didn't realize how right she was till I tackled the job on Monday. Good GRIEF. The beds were so infested with weeds that they now look naked!

I noticed a few (admittedly elementary) things while I was tearing out those weeds:

• While I'm glad I watered the good plants all this time, watering the weeds just made them grow more, too.
• I've heard of weeds "choking" things, but some of them were literally wrapped around some really tall elephant ears, and it took some careful manipulation to salvage the big, pretty, healthy elephant ears.
• Weeds are tricky. Some look a lot like good plants, but they're not.
• The longer you let something go, the more time and effort it takes to get it back to right.

Again, I know these points are not potential breaking news headlines. They were just right in front of (and in, and even on) my face a couple of days ago, so they stood out. Literally. :-)

All this time I've been watering those weeds, I've been aware of times I've watered the many nasty weeds of Rebekah's flowerbed of life, and how unhealthy that is. And I've worked hard to not do that lately.

So, after I watered the weeds, then cleaned out the weedbed, Foxy came to her door and commented on what a good job I was doing:

Foxy: Look at you, out there in the yard!!! (beaming)

Me: Yes! I finally got to the flowerbed.

Foxy: Good for you for cleaning it out!

Me: It looks kind of...naked...now.

Foxy: So whatcha gonna put in there?

Me: I was thinking pansies.

Foxy: That's real nice. What about that orange thing? You gonna keep that out all year? It's for OCTOBER, isn't it?

Me: The fall arrangement? I thought I'd leave it there till after Thanksgiving....

Foxy: Oh.

Foxy: Well, run along and be a good little girl, doin' that yardwork.

And, in addition to the laughter that conversation sparked, it brought a few other things to mind:

• When we let the flowerbeds of our lives get overgrown, other people notice.
• They also notice when we clear out the weedbeds of ourselves.
• Weeds take up a lot of space, and we (and others) get used to seeing a lot of things in that space. So when it's cleared out, it looks empty, even if that does equal healthy.
• Replacing the bad with more good is healthy, and the smart next step.
• Even Foxy is rushing through Thanksgiving. Sigh.