Kicking Against These Goads.

I often resist anything involving discipline, or correction, or the general feeling that I'm wrong about something. But, as it turns out, I often AM wrong about things, and do need that discipline and correction.


That happened today. It didn't take long for me to appreciate the correction, which at the tender age of 34 1/2, is sadly still a relatively new accomplishment for me. 


Even odder than my sooner-than-usual gratitude for the correction was the reflection on other areas that much discipline is required for me, and how I should appreciate that, even when I'm the one who has to administer it. (Even after more than a decade of playing it, adulthood can still be a very tricky game for this redhead.)


The whole thought process reminded me of a lyric in one of Caedmon's Call's songs, "Where I Began."  The group sings, "Kicking against these goads sure did cut up my feet / Did Your hands get bloody as they washed them clean?"


The first time I really listened to that song, I was curious and had to look up the word "goad." So, with the risk of thoroughly disgusting every English/composition instructor I've ever had or known, I type the next few words.


Webster defines "goad" as: 1. a stick with a pointed or electrically charged end, for driving cattle, oxen, etc.; prod.; 2. anything that pricks or wounds like such a stick.; 3. something that encourages, urges, or drives; a stimulus.

And as it did that first time I looked it up, seeing the definition now brings to mind all the discomfort of discipline. 


Sometimes it physically hurts (look me up the day after a hard workout). 


Sometimes it emotionally hurts (I can describe way too many details of the day last year that my soul was so wounded by someone's words I felt I could barely breathe).


Sometime it takes its toll on the ego (who wants to be told they're wrong -- ever?).


But always -- whether it's well communicated, poorly spoken, or doled out in a negative or positive manner -- discipline takes its toll on the action or lack of action that brought on the corrective measures. Pavlov's dog is a prime example.


Chances are, I won't stop messing up or being wrong, even after I turn 35. Or even (gasp!) 40. 


And, with any measurement of grace dealt to me, I won't stop being disciplined for those wrongdoings.


So as I see it, the only variable here is how I'll react to discipline. I can kick against the goads, cut up my feet, and have to deal with the wounds and scars. Or, I can accept discipline as the gift that it is and learn from it with grace.


Let's hope I'll choose the latter, early and often. Goodness knows that after three decades, I've done enough of the former.

This Day.

Today an old Point of Grace favorite, "This Day," came to mind.

I couldn't find it sung by POG on YouTube, but I did come across this performance by a church group, which I thought was very well done:



Lyrics are:

This day is fragile - soon it will end


And once it has vanished, it will not come again

So let us love with a love pure and strong

Before this day is gone

This day is fleeting when it slips away

Not all our money can buy back this day

So let us pray that we might be a friend

Before this day is gone



This day is fleeting

When it slips away

Not all our money can buy back this day

So let us pray that we might be a friend

Before this day is spent



This day we're given is golden

Let us show love

This day is ours for one moment

Let us sow love



This day is frail - it will pass by

So before it's too late to recapture the time

Let us share love, let us share god

Before this day is gone

Before this day is gone

Caedmon's Call.

I'm a huge fan of musicians who write their own music.

I also enjoy other musicians' work, but singing what you write...well, that's a very big thing with me.

In college, when I first heard the Christian band Caedmon's Call, I was naturally drawn to their cool, laid-back melodies, but also the dynamically rich lyrics.

In a recent effort to finally organize the trazillion CDs I've accumulated since CDs came out, I came across my Caedmon's Call music, and, in turn, some of my old favorites. The fun part about being such a huge procrastinator is that rediscovery sheds light on things that apply now that might not've before.

This is the case with "Walk With Me," a Caedmon's Call song I always enjoyed, but now embrace hourly, align with in spite of myself, and put on repeat in my car at least once a week. The video is here, and lyrics are below:

Walk With Me

Walk with me quiet, walk with me slow

With watered down coffee and words of gold

'Cause I can feel the edges of these things

When I hear you speak to me, so walk with me

Walk with me empty, walk with me strong

The hush of our voices, when the day seems so long
It is like a balm, it is like a jewel
It unravels all I thought I knew

Will you lead me, beside the still waters

Where the oil, it runs over, and my cup overflows
You restore my soul

Tell me the story, where old is made new
The promise of ages, and all things that are true
When the shadows fall and the wrecking ball
Swings and tears me through the heart

Will you lead me, beside the still waters
Where the oil, it runs over, and my cup overflows
You restore my soul

Worlds Apart

So many Fbk friends commented on statuses (stati?) I have posted with lyrics from Jars of Clay's "Love Song for a Savior," that I thought I'd post my equal-level favorite JoC song: "Worlds Apart."

You can watch/listen here, and lyrics are below:

"Worlds Apart"

I am the only one to blame for this

Somehow it all ends up the same

Soaring on the wings of selfish pride

I flew too high and like Icarus I collide

With a world I try so hard to leave behind

To rid myself of all but love

to give and die

To turn away and not become

Another nail to pierce the skin of one who loves

more deeply than the oceans,

more abundant than the tears

Of a world embracing every heartache

Can I be the one to sacrifice

Or grip the spear and watch the blood and water flow

To love you - take my world apart

To need you - I am on my knees

To love you - take my world apart

To need you - broken on my knees

All said and done I stand alone

Amongst remains of a life I should not own

It takes all I am to believe

In the mercy that covers me

Did you really have to die for me?

All I am for all you are

Because what I need and what I believe are worlds apart

I look beyond the empty cross

forgetting what my life has cost

and wipe away the crimson stains

"dull the nails that still remain"

More and more I need you now,

I owe you more each passing hour

the battle between grace and pride

I gave up not so long ago

So steal my heart and take the pain

and wash the feet and cleanse my pride

take the selfish, take the weak,

and all the things I cannot hide

take the beauty, take my tears

the sin-soaked heart and make it yours

take my world all apart

take it now, take it now

and serve the ones that I despise

speak the words I can't deny

watch the world I used to love

fall to dust and thrown away

I look beyond the empty cross

forgetting what my life has cost

so wipe away the crimson stains

"dull the nails that still remains"

so steal my heart and take the pain

take the selfish, take the weak

and all the things I cannot hide

take the beauty, take my tears

take my world apart, take my world apart

I pray, I pray, I pray

take my world apart

 
 
 
 
 
 

Praise God from Whom all blessings flow.

I'm so thankful for so many blessings in my crazy life (despite my attempts to mess it all up):

1. Friends in many places -- high and low (geographically, of course) -- who actually want to spend time with me. Wha?!

2. FOOTBALL SEASON!

3. Good music. I do love a good lyric, and set to fun tunes, even better. And LIVE..... ::happy sigh::

4. The option to look at a situation, make the best of it, and find ways it can be improved. For whatever reason, this never gets old for me. (Ok, maybe some days at 4:45pm it gets old. But usually, I'm all up for it.)

5. Pop Ball. I talk a lot in conversation and in writing about my Nan, and many times include stories about The Colonel, but I know for a fact that I don't give him the "air time" he's due. Mr. Cliff has not only been wonderful for my Nanny and for our family, but he has led a rich, full life in which he's done #4 on this list tirelessly, and has done it with gusto and without regard for age, life hindrances, or disasters of any kind. I admire this man more than I could say, and thank him with all my heart for being the only grandfather I can remember ever knowing. It can't be easy to jump into a family like ours, but he did it, and last weekend he turned 87. God bless him.

Heart of Life.

I have a new favorite happy-place song to add to Gabe Dixon's "All Will Be Well":
"Heart of Life" by John Mayer.

I'm pasting the lyrics below the video; hope you enjoy, too!




"Heart of Life" by John Mayer
I hate to see you cry
Lying there in that position
There's things you need to hear
So turn off your tears and listen

Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
No, it won't all go the way it should
But I know the heart of life is good

You know it's nothing new
Bad news never had good timing
Then the circle of your friends
Will defend the silver lining

Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
No, it won't all go the way it should
But I know the heart of life is good

Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
Fear is a friend who's misunderstood
But I know the heart of life is good

I know it's good

Sunrise: Part II.

*** I'm adding the video to this post now that I've gotten past my remedialness and remembered how! ***


I am a longtime lover of Nichole Nordeman's music, and came across the song "Sunrise" this morning.

Perfect timing, perfect lyrics:

Sunrise

If I had the chance

To go back again

Take a different road,

bear a lighter load

Tell an easy story

I would walk away

With my yesterdays

And I would not trade

what is broken for beauty only

Every valley

Every bitter chill

Made me ready to climb back up the hill

And find that . . .

You are sunrise

You are blue skies

How would I know the morning

If I knew not midnight?

You’re my horizon

You’re the light of a new dawn

So thank You, thank You

That after the long night,

You are sunrise

There’s a moment

when Faith caves in

There’s a time when

every soul is certain God is gone

But every shadow

is evidence of sun

And every tomorrow

holds out hope for us

For every one of us

You are sunrise

You are blue skies

How would I know the morning

If I knew not midnight?

You’re my horizon

You’re the light

of a new dawn

So thank You, thank You

That after the long night,

You are sunrise

You alone will shine

You alone can resurrect

this heart of mine

You are sunrise

You are blue skies

How would I know the morning

If I knew not midnight?

You’re my horizon

You’re the light of a new dawn

So thank You, thank You

That after the long night,

You are sunrise

You are sunrise

Quality vs. Quantity

Twice as much
Ain't twice as good
And can't sustain
Like one-half would.

This wanting more
Is gonna bring me to
My knees.


from John Mayer's "Gravity"