Again: Let it go, let it go, let it go!

This evening, I got to see one of my favorite bands in the world -- Cowboy Mouth -- in one of my favorite cities in the world -- New Orleans -- with one of my favorite people in the world -- Tiffany Hess -- during one of my favorite times in the world -- spring.  That's good stuff.

Also good is the reminder that's it's essential to let my hair down, enjoy life as it is, and for the love of Pete, to occasionally let it go.

I remembered posting about this a while back, but didn't remember until I ran a blog search that it was almost two years ago! Time flies.

As I read back over the original post, it quickly came back to me what was going on then. This is very morbid, but a lot of people around me were going through a lot of insurmountable things. Like death. And terminal illness. And really, severe, harsh devastation. Like family members who were missing all of a sudden. I remember wondering why, and wishing that I didn't feel so much for others that I let it get me down as well.

Those things were terrible, and still are to remember, but thankfully, I'm not at the same point now. Each year, and season, and day presents its own issues. But whether we're gasping for what feels like our last breath or trying to keep our heads above water, life can feel like a tidal wave whose pressure never ends. Providentially, those tides really do ebb and flow, and we have our life boats and rafts and, of course, the ever-necessary sunscreen of friends and family that keep us afloat and comfortable when we need survival and health the most.

My original post from 2008 is below. This time I'm also including audio of Cowboy Mouth performing one of the best songs ever, "Jenny Says."

Let it go, let it go, let it go?

(Posted Summer 2008)

One of my favorite bands in the world is Cowboy Mouth. And one of my favorite songs of theirs is "Jenny Says."

Lately, it's been easy to let things get to me. There's been lots of sadness around me, and subsequently, in me. I don't like that.

I know that without the sad times, I can't really experience the truest joy of the good times. But I'm beginning to think there's only so much sadness a girl can take.

So along with my all-time favorite Bible verse (John 10:10 - "I have come that they might have life, and have it more abundantly."), the help of wonderful friends and family, and being on the look-out for those day-to-day pleasures that make life more fun to live, I am going to make an effort to live by Cowboy Mouth's lyrics this week:

I've got no reason for the things I fear

The things that plague me when I see and hear

A dime's a nickel and a nickel's none

I throw myself into the Sunday sun

That summer Sunday when you went insane

You said you're going, but instead I came

I'm throwing oranges in an apple cart

The ties that bind are tearing me apart

Jenny says turn off the radio

Jenny says turn off the light

Jenny says turn off the video

You beat yourself up to bring yourself down

Let it go, let it go, let it go

Let it go, let it go, let it go

When the world keeps coming down on me

I let it go

I've got no reason for the things I say

She turned toward me then she turned away

There's lots of voices in a modern world

They take their toll upon a modern girl

I've got no reason for the things I fear

The things that plague me when I see and hear

I press my finger on an itchy trigger

What once was small right now is so much bigger

Jenny says turn off the radio

Jenny says turn off the light

Jenny says turn off the video

You beat yourself up to bring yourself down

Let it go, let it go, let it go

Let it go, let it go, let it go

When the world keeps coming down on me

I let it go

I've got no reason for the things I do

The dealer deals and then the deal is screwed

You throw your cards up on the playing table

My name is Cain and I am now unable

I've got no reason for the things I fear

The things that plague me when I see and hear

A dime's a nickel, a nickel's none

I throw myself into the Sunday sun

Jenny says turn off the radio

Jenny says turn off the light

Jenny says turn off the video

You beat yourself up 'cause you love it

Let it go, let it go, let it go

Let it go, let it go, let it go

When the world keeps coming down on me

I let it go

Let it go, let it go, let it go

Let it go, let it go, let it go

When the world keeps coming down on me

I let it go

I let it go, let it go, let it go

I let it go, let it go, let it go

I let it go, let it go, let it go

I am really going to make an effort with this (and living life more abundantly, and paying attention to those "small" daily delights God blesses us with) this week, and I'd really love it if those of you who pay attention to things like MySpace moods and statuses (or stati?!) would keep me accountable on this.

Just remind me -- when the world is coming down on me, I let it go.

Grazie.

Happy 100th Birthday, Southern Miss!

My alma mater is celebrating its 100th birthday this week! True to form, political cartoonist Marshall Ramsey tied in Mississippi's current budgeting issues with the event:

Southern Miss, To The Top!

Go Golden Eagles!

Five Things I'm Thankful For.

Five things I'm thankful for are:

1. A job that keeps me busy and pays me.

2. Cousins who crack me up.

3. A mother who reminds me of the things that matter most.

4. Spring!

5. A sunroof.

No Duds Allowed.

I am fortunate enough to have a home away from home away from home, and it's at the Longs' house in Baton Rouge. Angela -- who started as a fun coworker and has ended up as an even funner friend -- and her whole family are just precious and real and so enjoyable to be around, including their gorgeous Goldendoodle.

Dude K. Long joined their family soon after I started working with Angela, and he's absolutely beautiful. He also manages makes me feel like I'm the only person in the world he wants to play with and lick, which is always a fantastic trait in a new friend. :-)

Michael, Angela's 7-year-old, also loves Dude. However, Michael lives with Dude, so he's understandably had to set boundaries that are not required of me.

Last year, when Michael was 6-ish and Dude was 1-ish, Michael decided to keep Dude out of his room by posting a sign on his door: 

No Duds Allowed.

I'm not sure if Dude recognized 3/4 of his name enough to follow the instructions that night, but the message on the sign has stuck with me as something I'd love to post on all my doors -- literal and figurative. I mean, really, who wouldn't want to keep out all the duds in this ridiculous world?

After all, it's up to us to keep our homes (and hearts, and souls, and dreams) as safe and sound as we possibly can.

Geaux Michael! Such a wise, wise future Saint-slash-animal caretaker at the zoo.

Sticks and Stones.

I've only had one broken bone in my life, but do tend to bruise pretty easily. I don't know if it's the fair skin, or that I'm a klutz, or just that I'm a girl, since a lot of girls say the same thing. At any rate, I can look down any given day and see all kinds of random bruises that I can't remember getting. They don't always hurt, but they're ugly and sometimes they last a long time.

Especially having red hair, I've been ridiculously fortunate not to be the brunt of nasty jokes much throughout the years. Maybe this is because I laugh at my own self a lot. Maybe peeps are considerate enough to save their ugly talk for behind my back. Or maybe -- just maybe -- it's because I try really hard to follow the rare and consistent traits that I grew up watching my parents and sister live daily and seemingly effortlessly, and I try to be kind (though I don't always succeed, especially when I'm stressed out). I'm forever laughing with people about my faults, and often pointing them out to those around me, but am not proud to say that especially in the past, I tend to be pretty sensitive when facets of me that I view as negative are pointed out, even by friends who mean well. But basically, when it comes down to it, I have really, really escaped a lot of life's barbs, and I am utterly grateful for that.

My precious sister got picked on a good bit in elementary and middle school. She is absolutely the sweetest person in the universe, so I think it offended me almost as much as it did her. She was very shy and quiet at the time, so I don't think that helped matters much. Thankfully, she came out of her shell and blossomed into a gorgeous, more outgoing but still very kind young lady, and boom, the jokes stopped. I don't think I ever realized, though, how much those jokes could have hurt her. I mean, I still haven't talked to her about it (I'm typing in a very stream-of-consciousness way right now, so I'm sure we'll discuss it soon), but good grief. It had to hurt. Basically a stick figure of a child, I often took up for her on the bus or wherever, using words as my fight and praying I wouldn't get beat up by the instigators.

Yesterday, I was insulted worse than I can ever remember. I also experienced raw, emotional hurt in a way I can never remember hurting. I don't know if the (not particularly nice in general) person knew she ruined my day, and possibly month, but she did. It was just a thoughtless comment, but absolutely unneccessary, and it made me feel fat and slobby and small (but definitely not in a good way), and like the biggest loser (but also not in a good way).

After crying pretty hard about the rude comments and seeking immediate e-counseling from 10 of my closest friends, including my mom & sister, I realized: there's something to that old saying.

Sticks and stones -- or in my case, being thrown from a horse -- may break my bones, but words won't break me.

(I wouldn't go so far as to say words can never harm us, because the initial bruise is pretty nasty. But thankfully, we have our circle of peeps who take care of us with the effect that rubbing alcohol and antiseptic have on bruises and cuts. And after a little bit, the bruises fade, the cuts stop bleeding, and hopefully later, we can look back at that experience as un-fun, but not life-altering.)

So what lessons did I learn from being school-bus-picked-on at 33 1/2? 
1. Always have a few of your closest friends nearby to stand up for you, even if it's only to you.
2. Remember to be kind to others, because what we think are lighthearted comments may be really hurtful to them.
3. Always have a few of your closest friends nearby to stand up for you, even if it's only to you.
4. Keep your "surmising," as my Nan would say, to yourself.
5. Always have a few of your closest friends nearby to stand up for you, even if it's only to you.
6. Keep Taylor Swift in your iTunes. Always.
7. Always have a few of your closest friends nearby to stand up for you, even if it's only to you.

Because in the end, thank the Lord, bruises really do fade and cuts heal. Especially with the soothing ointment of wonderful friends and family.

Rebirth.

This week, for the first time, I had the opportunity to hear the infamous Rebirth Brass Band in New Orleans. They were fantastic! I was mesmerized!

Their name, though, accompanied with my current season of self-evaluation, made me think a little about how great it was to experience some Rebirth internally. Sure, the band was amazing, but really, so is going through a time when you allow yourself to think about the old, ponder the present, and hope for a better new.

Quite a melody.

The Best Day.

I was going to save writing about this song for a Mother's Day post to thank my mom for all she is and has been, but I've been realizing how much it applies to so many people in my life: both of my parents, my sister, her husband, their son, and, as I've so been reminded the past two days, my cousins.

I have tons of cousins -- really, not an exaggeration -- but was super fortunate to grow up in close proximity with three boy cousins, who served as brothers-in-kind for my sister and me, without the harassment and bathroom humor and embarrassing displays of overprotectiveness.

Russ, Jeff and Greg were -- and are -- three of the most amazing people I've ever met. They're all unique from each other in every way, from their talents to their appearances to their skills and career paths. In fact, the only qualities I would say they truly share are their innate desires to work hard for what they have, their ingenuities in their own fields, their senses of humor, and the kindness that lies within them all. It's kind of always been that way.

Russ (who was once "Rusty" and is now "Russell," but I can't seem to shake "Russ"), has forever been an academic. Brilliant, communicative, and witty, this oldest of the three is the best person ever to talk about books, current events, politics, and theology with. He's also good for some quality country music and bobblehead convos, among other things. His quality level only doubled when he married sweet Maria, who happened to be my sister's best friend in high school (perk!). Russ and Maria complement each other in every way, and have seen their share of life issues, but are still some of the most fun people to be around that I've ever met. Thankfully, they're teaching their four sons to be the same way. It's already fun to see how Timothy, Benjamin, Samuel and Jonah's personalities are emerging.

Greg is the youngest of the three, and is truly a shining light. That sounds really ethereal and even almost feminine, but Greg is one of the most real people I've ever met, and definitely one of the most masculine guys ever. My first memories of him involve his sweet smile, adorable dimples, and blonde curls, and he's been consistent with the first two of those ever since. (The curls got cut off, much to my Nan's chagrin, I'm sure.) Gregory Scott is hilarious and the pure definition of "entrepreneur," but he is also a wonderful friend. He listens and cares and can turn anything -- and I do mean anything -- into a complete laugh riot. In fact, I've just decided that if I really want people to celebrate instead of mourn at my funeral, he should speak. :-) His wife, Alicia, and her daughter, Lauren, have added more to our family than I can even say. Lauren plays soccer with the best of 'em, resists all things diva, and will never have an awkward stage. She's the coolest adolescent ever, and if she weren't so sweet, I'd be bitter about this. At 33 1/2. Like Maria, Alicia is beautifully supportive of her husband, and their mutual adoration is so clear. I love this about them, and for them, and particularly for Greg, because he deserves that so much.

The one-third of this fabulous trifecta that I most recently got to spend time with is Jeff. Jeff's the middle, and to the naked eye is as polar opposite from Russ and Greg and Russ and Greg are from each other. Because of his job, I don't have the opportunity to see Jeff nearly as much as I do Greg, who lives where we're all from, or even Russ, who lives in Kentucky. So when I do see Jeff, we get concentrated time rather than short visits, which is where The Best Day comes in.

Tuesday night and Wednesday morning, I got to hang out with Jeff for the first time since Christmas. A lot has happened since Christmas, and I'm not really in a season full of guy friends right now, so getting to see and debrief and talk and laugh with Jeff was just the most fantastic thing I could've asked for. Not to mention, we saw each other in one of our favorite cities, New Orleans, so that was wonderful and the weather was perfect and the food was as delicious as it's made out to be.

I've been working like a dog lately, and I've been tired physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Very few people in my life are like vitamin shots to my soul, but everyone mentioned in this blog is, including Jeff. And I suspect that just hanging out and laughing over po-boys did more for my soul than a vacation ever could.

This song is by Taylor Swift, and is called "The Best Day":



So, to my sweet mother and excellent father, and my beautiful-in-every-way sister, and my brother-in-law who exceeds expectations, and to my ever-growing nephew who makes me smile by thinking of him, and to Russell D. who continues to inspire me and make me proud, and Greg, who can crack me up with a one-line text, thank you for all those Best Days. There have been many, and I can't hear this song without thinking of each of you, and so many others from my childhood.

And to Jeffrey Allen, who is really too cool to be hanging out with me but does anyway, and who does for my spirit what Dyanne does for my hair, I really did have The Best Day with you. Thank you for sharing your time and wonderfulness with me. :-)


* The pic above is of Russ, Jeff, myself and Greg on Christmas Eve 2009 at Nanny and Pop Ball's house. Have I mentioned I love these people?!

Holy what-rimony?!

I don't always treat the institution of marriage as kindly as I should.

I'm not mean about it, per se, but I am very aware that I'm just not as consistently polite about it as my mother raised me to be.

This is probably a good time to reinforce several truths:
It's not that I don't like the idea of marriage, and it's not that I like it too much. I'm neither adverse to joining my life with the right person's, or so jaded that I scoff anyone who does it, or even what i consider to be the worst of all -- a single person who is so envious of married people that I'm bitter that I'm not there.

I should also probably clarify that this has become my view of marriage in general, not when it specifically applies to those I'm close to, and whose love I've watched unfold and strengthen. I am fortunate beyond measure to have parents and a sibling and other close relatives and friends who have lived out the true ideal of marriage, through thick or thin, for better or worse. And I'm super, amazingly grateful for that. Really.

It's just that, since friends my age have started getting married (and unmarried), I haven't very often seen the institution being lived out as the sacred commitment I believe it should be. As a result, more often than not, I view jumping into it as a lottery purchase of sorts, or a fad weight-loss buy-in.

("You signed up for that? Just because you want the ideal version of you? And you're expecting results with no work? And you think YOUR one-in-a-million shot's gonna pan out perfectly? Ohhh-kaaay...")

And there are the people who seem to be getting married only because it's time to do that, or because their friends are, or because it's expected that that's their next logical step. And while those factors aren't bad by any means, and could probably use a little more attention from this redhead, they're, to me, just not enough to hold water on their own. Especially when the couple constantly fights, or complains about each other, or puts one another down in public or private. In those situations, doing what's expected just because it's expected is like refusing to exercise but spending good money on a fad weight loss pill: why bother, when this probably isn't a healthy or long-term solution, and will only cause more damage in the end?

And even when one -- or both -- walks down the aisle with an accurate, secure, sane definition of "forever," where's the guarantee that no one's dictionary changes after a baby is born, or a house is built, or a job is lost, or a disease is discovered?

Maybe my perspective comes from having dated a commitment phobe for too long. (Despite my protectiveness of that relationship in the past, placing myself under the direct influence of a guy who, even in his 30s, broke out into hives over "the 'L' word" couldn't have been healthy. Also, still saying "the 'L' word" in your 30s is probably not a good sign.)

Or maybe watching beautiful people whom I dearly love privately writhe in pain as their marriages shatter has taken its toll.

Or perhaps my not-so-happy-ending-assumptive view comes from the jaw-dropping, ever-growing number of my high school classmates and childhood friends who are already, after 15 years, divorce statistics...some more than once over.

Whatever the reason, I'm not always giddy when someone tells me they're engaged.

This was totally not the case when James Findley called me last year with his news. When I heard my best-all-around guy friend's voice tell me that Melissa said yes, I couldn't stop the happy tears from forming in my eyes.

James and Melissa are, like so many dear friends of mine, a precious couple whose love has intensified and withstood enough obstacles to ensure that they'll give marriage a good name, and will treat it as holy matrimony.

I am honored to be their friend -- individually and collectively -- and am truly sad to be missing their wedding (even though James promises he understands and I've promised to share dinner and their wedding video once they're back from the honeymoon and things are a little calmer for all).

I couldn't be at their ceremony today, but my heart is full with how proud I am of my sweet friends, because I know they did not speak or feel their vows lightly, and that they won't take them lightly, either.

And because of newlyweds like they are now, I don't find myself wondering what they're getting themselves into, or only holding a mere hope that things will go okay. Because of couples like James and Melissa, today I am smiling as I'm thinking about marriage.

So here's to you, Mr. and Mrs. Findley! I'm with you in spirit, and will absolutely celebrate this special time with y'all in person as soon as life allows. May God bless and keep your life together, and make His face shine gently upon you both. And above all, may He give you peace.

I love you both.

Let them eat cake.

I have to brag on a friend's son's birthday cake -- it is too cute! 

Who dat!

Oh-so-thankful.

I haven't posted much of what I'm thankful for lately, but that doesn't mean I'm not well aware of it. This week's top five are:

1. Experience. I have learned a lot in the past 33 years, and in the past 23 that I can remember the clearest as a semi-adult. :-) And I am so everlastingly grateful for that. 'Cause guess what? Even though I might change a few decisions along the way if I had to do it all over again, I would definitely not want to lose anything I've learned. Life: invaluable.

2. Spring. It's coming, peeps! For real! I felt it a couple of times this week and I am NOT giving up hope.

3. Lent. Even though I'm not giving anything up this year (I have a few excuses, but no really good ones), the season still has an impact on me and makes me appreciate all that Christ has done for me, and all the lagniappe I experience as His Child.

4. My daddy. He is SO smart. Really. I can't even express to you how I amazed I am when he starts talking cars. I love that his speciality is so polar opposite of mine. Sometimes it's hard to appreciate people's areas of expertise when they're similar to what you delve into every day. Ya know?

5. Our country. I know, I know. I always say this. But for real. We live in the land of the FREE. How cool is that? How close were we to being born in a Communist or Socialist country, where we did not have what we consider to be super simple choices daily? I'm just saying. I appreciate it more and more the older I get. And as my nephew will readily attest to, I'm gettin' on up there. :-)

Happy weekend, everyone! Live it up!

Bloggin' gone bad.

I've been slacking on my blogging lately. But an acquaintance of mine has been doing just the opposite -- she's vowed to blog EVERY DAY.

Since Crawfish Boil season is upon me (at work, my busiest time of the year ever), I won't be blogging every day by any means, but I might try a little harder to release some of this pent-up creativity more often.

Multi-slacking.

Thanks to all the wonderful allergies I've been besotten with since my move to Louisiana, I've gotten in more TV/movie time than I ever thought would be possible.  But I've noticed that like before, it's almost impossible for me to sit still and watch anything when I'm by myself. If others are over, sure. But when it's just me, not so much.

So I've recently realized that I've taken up a very unadmirable trait: multi-slacking.

That's right. I'm embarrassed to admit that I am fully capable of "watching" a show or movie, paying bills, playing on my phone.... You get the picture.

What in the world is up with that?! Am I so ADD that I can't even relax properly?!

Five things I'm thankful for.

Five things I'm thankful for today are:

1. Being able to communicate via the internet and mobile devices when I can't talk and/or be places in person.

2. Modern medicine.

3. The invention of Kleenex.

Notice a trend here? It's been a fun, allergy-ridden week....

4. The people I've crossed paths with who, even after I haven't seen them in person for years, continue to enrich my life with their unique personalities.

5. Movies.

Redefining RJ.

I've realized lately that it's been 10 years, two cities, three jobs, a kazillion friends, and a couple of sincerely significant relationships since I've thought about who I really am, and who I really want to be.

I remember a time that I was very clear on this. But while the influence of so many people, places and things can be more than wonderful, that influence can also smudge the mirror a little.

While in some ways it's exciting to think about fresh starts, in other ways it's a little daunting and overwhelming. So if you want to pray for me through this great adventure, have at it. ;-)

We'll see what the outcome looks like.

My 2010 mantra.

It takes a lot of courage to grow up and be who you really are.

- e. e. cummings

Ain'ts no more!

I dare anyone to speak badly of the New Orleans Saints....  WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS!

Bless you, boys!!!!!

High Five.

Five things I'm thankful for today are:

1. A father who knows his stuff, especially when it comes to cars.

2. A sister who is genuinely sweeter than and has the purest heart of anyone I've ever met.

3. A mother who listens and loves, even when she might not understand or approve.

4. Blood pressure medicine.

5. The spirit of the area I'm from and live in.

Bring it!

Tomorrow marks a historical day for us Southerners: our Saints are going to the Super Bowl!!!

This cartoon from ESPN, shared with me by a friend, aptly describes the cultural excitement we're experiencing in the Who Dat region.

Geaux Saints! ALL THE WAY! ;-)

The Saints Are Coming...

THE SAINTS ARE GOING TO THE SUPER BOWL!!!!


FOR REAL!!!


Bless you, boys.

Hometown Boy or Hometown Team?

The Mississippi Gulf Coast (and maybe even more of the state and region) has a dilemma this weekend.

We've watched our hometown boy, Brett Favre, go from cocky (but talented) high school and college football player to somewhat settled NFL quarterback to more mature, valuistic, family-oriented star football player.

This weekend, Brett Favre's current team, the Minnesota Vikings, are playing our hometown team, the New Orleans Saints, in the NFL playoffs.

Nearly everyone I know from home is a Saints fan. If they're not, they probably just don't like football. Many of us have remained faithful to our Saints, despite years of losses and disappointments. Some are more fair-weather, but everyone would love to see this team with a heart of gold (and a little black) go to the Super Bowl.

I can remember as a little girl, riding home from church with the family listening to the games on WWL (News Radio 87). My poor Daddy might've been outnumbered in gender, but that AM station, then the game on TV once we got home, won out every Sunday afternoon during football season.

I didn't really get into football until the past few years, but have always kept up with the Saints. I've been teased endlessly: "If you're going to be loyal to one team, why THEM?"

My question is: "Why NOT?"

To me, the Saints feel like home just as much as the Gulf of Mexico, and gumbo, and boiled shrimp. My high school and college both had the Saints' black and gold colors, which just worked out nicely. In fact, until I moved to Baton Rouge and got caught up in LSU, purple was just another shade of the rainbow.

When I moved to Jackson, MS after college, I distinctly remember being in the mall one Sunday afternoon and passing a TV that showed the Saints nearing a win. I was so excited that I ran to the nearest pay phone -- remember those? -- and called my Daddy while jumping up and down and screaming, "The Saints are going to the Super Bowl! I knew it! I knew it!"

With the pride and grounded nature of a true Saints fan, my Daddy said, "Ok, Rebekah... But remember, it ain't over till it's over. They've just reached the playoffs."

And he was right, of course... But now, 2010 might be THE YEAR!!!! :-)

So, back to Favre. Most of the people I've talked to and heard from like Brett Favre, and are proud of his successes, but are die-hard Saints fans, and want to see them go all the way. I can imagine even Brett Favre himself, having grown up in Kiln, MS, less than an hour from New Orleans, secretly wants the Saints to go all the way. I mean, it's the SAINTS!

So, we'll see, come Sunday. But for now, the chant continues...

Who dat! Who dat! Who dat say 'dey gonna beat 'dem Saints?! :-)

To Haiti -- from Mississippi, with love.

Political cartoonist Marshall Ramsey summed up Mississippians' sympathy for Haiti very well:

Five is Enough.

I originally started posting "Five things I'm thankful for" as an idea my friend Liz got from Oprah. It's come to be something I rely on, and that when I neglect, I really miss.

Five things I'm thankful for lately are:

1. Being an American. It's really something I try not to take lightly ever, but it's especially impossible not to be grateful when world news points to poverty-stricken countries, and how natural disasters further devastate their lives.

2. The things I've left behind. It's nice to know that things I've put in the past really are in my past, and that they don't have to be in my present unless I allow them to be.

3. Good books. I love to read -- that actually might be an understatement -- so I'm really glad there are so many great books out there to fill my insatiable need to be reading something every chance I get!

4. The elimination of long-distance. Remember that? I'm grateful for cell phones, and anytime minutes, and free nights and weekends, and the fact that I can call friends and family anywhere in the country and not have to worry about how long we take to catch up.

5. Technology. I'm hooked. I don't know when I'll start grumbling about things changing, and why things can't just stay the same, but I'm sure it'll come soon enough. So for now, I'm glad I like new technology. :-)

Aching and thirsty.

I made a very stupid, momentary choice to look away for just a second while driving to work yesterday and totaled my car.

Also, my year-long allergy issues are finally being resolved with the right mix of medication.

Why blog this? Truth is, today has left me very, very sore, and very, very thirsty. I cannot get enough water to drink, and all the ibuprofen in CVS's warehouse isn't cutting this achiness.

But I can't even bring myself to feel bad about that.

Not just because (thank God) no one was seriously injured, but because there is no way soreness from an airbag can compare to what the people who have actually survived Haiti's magnitude-7 earthquake are feeling right now.  And that's just physical. The emotional toll of seeing hundreds of corpses on the streets, not knowing where loved ones are or if they're alive...impossible to imagine.

And yes, I'm thirsty. But I can turn on my faucet (in my heated, clean, safe apartment) and get as much water as I need. Even if I could not do that, I could drive in my car to buy bottled water, or probably find a friend that would help. Reports from Haiti say people are fearful of dying of thirst.

Yesterday, I smelled airbag for the first time. There was powdery residue all around me from whatever's in an airbag, and I wasn't sure where my glasses were at first. But I found my glasses, and the powder didn't stay on me. Many Haitian survivors are stark white with the dusty remains of the buildings that have crumbled around them.

Some of my friends and coworkers have relatives who are sick, or injured, or in some state of unwell. I hate this for them. Bad is bad, no matter how you cut it. But my friend Skye, who is doing her culinary internship on the island of Provos, works with people whose families are in Haiti, just 90 miles away. These coworkers of hers are on Provos to make more money that they can send home to their families. And now, they have no way of contacting their loved ones to see how they are...or even if they still are.

My closest brush with destruction was when Hurricane Katrina devastated the Mississippi Gulf Coast where I grew up. There were a few days when we weren't sure about some family members' homes, and there are still changes in landscape, missing landmarks, and stark differences in how and where people live that are  constant reminders of that life-changing storm.

I didn't live on the coast at the time, though. I was three hours away in Jackson, Mississippi, and it was hard to come by, but I had access to gasoline and water to get to my family within the week.

I'm not sure if that's going to be an option for Haiti.

This situation is obviously weighing on me heavily. There are ways to help, and many of them are detailed on an NPR site that was posted this morning. I know more relief efforts have been enacted since this morning, and there will be tons of ways that we can help from where we are.

I'm saving the best way to help for last: prayer. No matter what the skeptics say, prayer does change things. Aside from the celestial benefits, it strengthens and solidifies the one who's praying, and -- pun intended -- Lord knows we occasionally need it.

Please do what you can. And be grateful for what you have. I know I am.

Case in point: I never thought I'd be saying I'm thankful for a totaled (new to me) car.

What a reality check.

Five.

Five things I'm grateful for right now are:

1. Friends, near and far.
2. People who do nice things for other people. Whether or not I'm a beneficiary in this, I really appreciate it.
3. Heat.
4. Gloves.
5. My nephew, who makes me laugh literally every day.

New week, new year, new decade, new...

...resolutions? Thoughts? RJ?

Not so much.

Don't get me wrong -- I'm happy it's a new year! There's something about the calendar showing you a guaranteed fresh start that's just, well, refreshing. But here are my takes on all of the above:

New resolutions: I don't keep them. I try, then I fail, and then I feel like a failure, not even 1/3 of the way into the new year. Could anything stink more? I try to identify bad habits as I notice them, and I try to do something about them, but trust me, anyone with my guilt complex needs to stay away from resolutions.

New thoughts: I always have new thoughts. Who doesn't? I mean, every day, they pop up. If they're good, and I'm listening with both ears, I'll write them down where I know I'll see them again, or I'll put them in my handy dandy notes section of my phone. But why hold 'em for a whole year?! I like to get it out when I'm thinking and feeling it. And that's what blogs are for, IMHO. :-)

New rebekah: Sure, I could use an overhaul. No female I know would turn one down, and several males I know would at least look into the option. But isn't it better to take the best of me, and merge it with the rest of me, and work on what needs to go? That's the goal. Not that I always reach it, but, you know. An effort, at least.

So that's my new year's ideal: Keep doing what works, and work on what doesn't. And for the love of Pete, in this century, when technology and people and life are so demanding anyway, don't beat yourself up for not meeting some list you scratched out just because the rest of the world does it.

I realize that may seem slightly pessimistic, but hey. That's what I've got.

And happy oh-ten! I feel we can be healthy, wealthy, and wise, especially if we listen to ourselves, our God, our consciences, and the people who love us most.

Twenty Ten.

Wherever you are, whatever your plans, I hope this new year finds us all happier, healthier, and much wiser!

Fa la la.

I'm having one of those holiday frenzy days that makes me want to scream. Or cry. Or both. Which is odd, considering the Reason for the Season.

So before I head home for Christmas, I'm reminding myself of a few things:

a) I'm going to try -- really hard -- to remember why we celebrate this holiday.

b) I am blessed and fortunate to have family and friends who love me.

c) Life, when it comes down to it, is good. Really good.
d) Nothing is insurmountable.


I hope you all have a beautiful celebration of our Lord's birth.

That is, after all, why we're getting ourselves all worked up. Right?  :-)

Henry Poole Is Here (no spoilers included).

I watched "Henry Poole Is Here" on Netflix, thinking it would be more of a comedy than a deep-thinking indie film. (I also assumed I was in the mood for a comedy, but this was perfect for me at the time I watched it.)

Even if I don't agree with them all, I love reading books and watching movies that make me think in different ways, and this one did just that. Starring Luke Wilson, Radha Mitchell, and other recognizable actors (like George Lopez), the film was well put together, and definitely made for something I'll be mulling over for a while.

So, without adding any spoilers, if you like that sort of thing, too, I highly recommend checking this out.

But maybe not if you know you need an out-and-out comedy. ;-)

Finding my happy place.

I could've told you this before the article below was even thought about, much less published, but I've found my happy place.  Louisiana is definitely close enough to home to have the look(ish) and feel of the (MS Gulf) Coast, yet in a spot where I can learn and explore newness, which makes my redheaded self full of joy.

However, I guess someone leaked this bit o' news to the press, so now everybody knows:

States ranked from happiest to least cheerful

THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

WASHINGTON -- A new study found that people who report more satisfaction with their lives live in states that score well on things like good schools, low crime and short commuting time, perhaps a first objective look at why some states are happier than others.

The state-by-state list, from happiest to least cheery:

1. Louisiana
2. Hawaii
3. Florida
4. Tennessee
5. Arizona
6. South Carolina
7. Mississippi
8. Montana
9. Alabama
10. Maine
11. Wyoming
12. Alaska
13. North Carolina
14. South Dakota
15. Texas
16. Idaho
17. Vermont
18. Arkansas
19. Georgia
20. Utah
21. Oklahoma
22. Delaware
23. Colorado
24. New Mexico
25. North Dakota
26. Minnesota
27. Virginia
28. New Hampshire
29. Wisconsin
30. Oregon
31. Iowa
32. Kansas
33. Nebraska
34. West Virginia
35. Kentucky
36. Washington
37. District of Columbia
38. Missouri
39. Nevada
40. Maryland
41. Pennsylvania
42. Rhode Island
43. Ohio
44. Massachusetts
45. Illinois
46. California
47. New Jersey
48. Indiana
49. Michigan
50. Connecticut
51. New York

Again... No shock to me that my current residence is #1 and my home state is #7 out of 51, but for those of you who didn't know how awesome the deep South is, FYI. And come see us! :-)

I know the heart of life is good.

I'm pretty sure I've posted this before, simply because I'm in mad love with it. But I'm doing it again, simply because I need it. :-)

John Mayer has this crazy great song, "The Heart of Life." The lyrics and performance are below -- I hope you like it. Especially if you need it this week, too.




Lyrics:

I hate to see you cry


Lying there in that position

There's things you need to hear

So turn off your tears and listen



Pain throws your heart to the ground

Love turns the whole thing around

No, it won't all go the way it should

But I know the heart of life is good



You know it's nothing new

Bad news never had good timing

Then the circle of your friends

Will defend the silver lining



Pain throws your heart to the ground

Love turns the whole thing around

No, it won't all go the way it should

But I know the heart of life is good



(Whistle Interlude)



Pain throws your heart to the ground

Love turns the whole thing around

Fear is a friend who's misunderstood

But I know the heart of life is good



I know it's good

Good stuff.

5.

It's been quite a week. I love country music, but this week has reminded me of the longest country song ever -- and not necessarily in a good way. Regardless, I'm sure I can drum up five things I'm thankful for. :-)

1. The happiness and sweet joy my family's precious dog Tractor brought to us over the years.

2. Calm.

3. Kid stories. They are so funny and sometimes keep me going! I'm not sure if I would appreciate them as much if I were sleep-deprived with my own, but I'm sure I would. ;-)

4. Christmas lights. Isn't it something how they can really brighten the spirit as well as a tree, or wreath, or yard, or home?

5. Friends and family who are there. Just there. With no demands. Incredibly great.

Life is better off a mystery.

I owe a humongous shout-out to Sara Ferren, my third (?) cousin (who feels much closer, thanks to the beauty and love that was my great-Aunt Mildred, and her great-grandmother).

Sara posted part of these lyrics as her Fbk status tonight. In ways I probably couldn't really articulate to anyone today, I so needed the reminder of this song, and its meaning, and all that it refreshes my heart for when I delve into it.

A video clip of Caedmon's Call's "Faith My Eyes" is here:





And the lyrics to Caedmon's Call's "Faith My Eyes" are here:

As I survey the ground for ants


Looking for a place to sit and read

I'm reminded of the streets of my hometown

How they're much like this concrete that's warm beneath my feet



And how I'm all wrapped up in my mother's face

With a touch of my father just up around the eyes

And the sound of my brother's laugh

But more wrapped up in what binds our ever distant lives



But if I must go

Things I trust will be better off without me

But I don't want to know

Life is better off a mystery



So keep'em coming these lines on the road

And keep me responsible be it a light or heavy load

And keep me guessing with these blessings in disguise

And I'll walk with grace my feet and faith my eyes



Hometown weather is on TV

I imagine the lives of the people living there

And I'm curious if they imagine me

Cause they just wanna leave; I wish that I could stay



And to visit places from my past

But only for an hour or so

Which is long enough to smell the air

To tell the tale and find the door



But I get turned around

I mistake my happiness for blessing

But I'm blessed as the poor

Still I judge success by how I'm dressing



So I'll sing a song of my hometown

I'll breathe the air and walk the streets

Maybe find a place to sit and read

And the ants are welcome company



And I'll walk with grace my feet and faith my eyes

And I'll walk with grace my feet and faith my eyes

This was a favorite of mine in college, and I love that Sara can appreciate and live it as she experiences that stage of life as well. There's never a bad time to make the effort to walk with grace and see with faith.


(This, for the record, is by far not the best or only touching song by Caedmon's Call. Check 'em out. Their lyrics are heartfelt, Scripturally sound, and incredibly pointed.)

And thanks again, Sara.

Drinking the Kool-Aid.

I've never been great with sales.

Public relations, personal encouragement, and talking things and people up that I believe in, sure. But sales? Ehhhh.... I just feel bad when asking peeps to part with their money. You know?

When I was a kid and had to sell things for school fundraisers, I would end up trying to talk my neighbors out of purchases. I distinctly remembering asking Mrs. Larsen down the road if she really needed another candle, because the ones in my catalog did seem a little expensive. Needless to say, the Girl Scouts weren't exactly knocking my door down to come join in their cookie-pushing.

A few months ago, I listened to a friend's pitch about a product, thought it sounded good, but told her that no way, no how -- I could NOT sell this to anyone, no matter how great it was. And that's been true. I do think it's a big product, but have a hard time asking anyone to listen to a pitch and part with money that they might not want to spend on something.

Blogging, however, doesn't feel so pushy. You choose to read this. If you want to know more, you can ask me. If you think I'm crazy, you can tell me (or not). If you don't give a rip, you can ignore this and go on.

I'm good with that.

The product I fell for is called Zoegetics. I dreaded attending the presentation but love my friends who were hosting it and so jazzed about it, so I went to hear the spiel. Turns out, after hearing what the products are about, being very impressed with the company's start-up, mission and ethics, and thoroughly Googling for a week or two, I just couldn't for the life of me find a reason not to at least give it a shot.

Zoe's main product is a powder you mix with water (or other drinks -- I like to alternate it in fruity stuff like G2 or Fuze).

It contains about a million antioxidants, quite a few servings of fruits and vegetables, a good dose of fiber, and other things that you can get more details on via the Zoe website. There is also a common side effect of weight loss, though the company does not promote it as a diet-type product.

In addition, the company manufactures "green" cleaning products, including cleaners for virtually every room of the house, as well as all-natural laundry detergents. (And it all smells good.)

Bare truth: I haven't been diligent with using Zoe. I've been sick a lot this summer/fall/winter, and sometimes anything other than water and tea seems icky. But I keep thinking -- how can getting those servings of fruits and veggies be bad for me? How can loading up on antioxidants hurt me?

Also, as you can probably tell from my first few paragraphs, I haven't been diligent in talking up Zoe. No one's pressuring me to, but I really do believe it's a good thing, so this blog post is my way of letting the universe know about it.

If you're still reading and are interested in the product, leave a comment, email me at rebekah.johnson1976@gmail.com, and by all means, check out the website for any questions you might have.

The friend who sold me on it has a blog, too, so you can read more firsthand accounts there.

For those who are gravely disappointed in me for falling for this, I'm sorry it has to be this way. I never thought I'd be "that person," either, and promise on my life's happiness that I am not pushing this on you!

Even if I did end up drinking the Kool-Aid.

On the Nightstand: In The Sanctuary of Outcasts

I recently finished one of the most stellar, well-written, and compelling non-fiction books I've come across in at least two years.

In the Sanctuary of Outcasts, a memoir by Mississippi-born and bred and former Louisiana resident Neil White, is a detailed account of one man's drive for success, his mistakes, and his payment for those errors. Not only is the writing ridiculously captivating and page-turning for any reader, but the entire novel is set in Mississippi (mainly Oxford and the Gulf Coast), and Louisiana (New Orleans, the Baton Rouge area, and Carville).

Ok. I'm going to stop trying to summarize this work myself and just quote the author's own website:

Daddy is going to camp. That’s what I told my children. A child psychologist suggested it. “Words like prison and jail conjure up dangerous images for children,” she explained.



But it wasn’t camp.

Neil White, a journalist and magazine publisher, wanted the best for those he loved—nice cars, beautiful homes, luxurious clothing. He loaned money to family and friends, gave generously to his church, and invested in his community—but his bank account couldn’t keep up. Soon Neil began moving money from one account to another to avoid bouncing checks. His world fell apart when the FBI discovered his scheme and a judge sentenced him to eighteen months in federal prison.

But it was no ordinary prison. The isolated, beautiful colony in Carville, Louisiana was also home to the last people in the continental United States disfigured by leprosy. Hidden away for decades, this small circle of outcasts forged a tenacious, clandestine community, a fortress to repel the cruelty of the outside world. It is here, in a place rich with history, where the Mississippi River briefly runs north, amidst an unlikely mix of leprosy patients, nuns, and criminals, that Neil’s strange and compelling journey begins. He finds a new best friend in Ella Bounds, an eighty-year-old, African-American, double-amputee who had contracted leprosy as a child. She and the other secret people, along with a wacky troop of inmates, help Neil re-discover the value of simplicity, friendship and gratitude.

Funny and poignant, In the Sanctuary of Outcasts is an uplifting memoir that reminds us all what matters most.

I really do highly recommend this read for anyone who likes great writing, interesting non-fiction, sheer honesty, and other people's views of the South.

Also, if any of you hear of a book signing with this guy anywhere in Louisiana or Mississippi, please let me know. I'd really like to meet him.

And finally, thanks a billion to Angela Long, who recommended it to me! Best read in a while, by far.

Let it Sneaux, Let it Sneaux...

Ok. So I know the song traditionally repeats that line three times. But since this is the second year in a row* we've gotten snow in Baton Rouge, I couldn't help but stop at two. 

*(By the way, in case you don't know, getting winter weather in the South is kind of a big deal... Much less in Baton Rouge, Lousiana... Much less TWO YEARS IN A ROW!)

(And for those who may not know the reasoning behind the "eaux" spelling I use so often, it's the Cajun-French word assimilation for the pronunciation "oh." When I was growing up on the MS Gulf Coast, for instance, Dedeaux was pronounced "dee-doh.")

So, back to topic. BR was predicted for a "wintery mix" this past weekend, and a wintery mix we got! It was part snow, much rain, some sleet, and bitter cold (for these parts, at least).  I've been falling apart and down with allergies for the majority of my residency here, including last weekend, so I missed getting out and about in the wintery mix. But I did brave the cold for a few seconds here and there to get some shots outside of my balcony door. :-)

Our wintery mix had a lot of rain, happened around 7ish, and didn't stick, but it was fun and seasonally exciting just the same!

Photos:
1. Snow from my balcony! This shot proved I was not hallucinating, which was a huge relief.
2. My new (to me) car, Lady Bling, gets her first snow, which she took very, very well.

Saintsgiving.

It's hard NOT to steal the "Saintsgiving" rename of the holiday with New Orleans (finally!) doing so well this season, and given my nephew's new obsession with football and love for our Saints.

Our family got together for Thanksgiving last week and had such a great time catching up and visiting. We also ate a little bit...but anyway. :-) We were able to take Thanksgiving dinner to Nan and Pop Ball's, who have dealt with major health issues this year, and get some good visiting in.

And since my sister and her family alternate holidays between both sets of in-laws, we also tied Christmas in with Thanksgiving the next night.

For Christmas this year, my parents and I gave my nephew a Saints uniform, which to our delight, could not have gone over better. Caleb was SO cute as he opened his helmet, then his whole uniform, then his football. He couldn't get into the uniform fast enough, leaving his original outfit laying by the hallway. :-) I, of course, couldn't get enough pictures of him in that precious uniform. It was just big enough for him to be able to wear it for a while, and hello -- is there anything cuter than a child in a too-big football helmet?!

The next day, he played a good bit in the yard with Grandpa, who was more than happy to toss the football and frisbee with Caleb, take him on a tractor ride, and have their traditional race. They were so cute and I, much to everyone's shock, got tons of pictures to commemorate the fun.

Also involved in the weekend were roasting marshmallows (yay for a coastal Thanksgiving cold enough for a fire!), making Mississippi mud with Grammi, lots of battles between the Army, British, Cowboy & Indian figures Caleb brought along, and several movie viewings, including "The Alamo" and "Night at the Museum."

And my weekend was capped off by a situation I ALWAYS love -- time with cousins and childhood friends, who, when the moon is just right, all get to come together for some quality, invaluable hangout time when we're all home. (Naturally, I forgot my camera. It's tradition.)

All in all, it was a fantastic time all the way around, with a good balance for me of work, play, home, and getting out and about.

And...it must be said...how 'bout them Saints?!