my sunshine

when I was a little girl, I vividly remember my Grandma Johnson daily telling my sister and me "I L-O-V-E you" and singing "You are my sunshine" as we played around her while she was cutting dumpling strips at the kitchen table.

I'm not sure I fully appreciated the depth of being someone's sunshine until the past few extremely dreary weeks in the deep South. we have definitely expereinced almost months on end with just a few rays of sunshine here and there, so today, when I felt and saw the warmth of the sunshine, it seemed I could feel its healing cathartic qualities all the way to my toenails. clear as day, my mind took me back to her strong alto voice singing:

you are my sunshine
my only sunshine
you make me happy when skies are gray
you'll never know, dear, how much I love you
please don't take my sunshine away

I can only hope that Kim and I provided Grandma Johnson real warmth and joy of a healing nature during our slice of her 86 years.

I love memories.

2 Comments - 5 Kudos
I've always been truly fond of this song! Somehow [and I'm not consciously sure how] it is uniquely special to me. I'm glad to hear that it is special to someone else, too. Thanks for sharing!!!!
Posted by lotts2tel on January 29, 2007 - Monday 5:14 PM

This brought a little "sunshine" to my cold and cloudy North Alabama day!
Posted by Rachel on January 31, 2007 - Wednesday 11:27 AM

the absence of...

isn't it ironic how we fail to notice the positives until they're no longer there? happiness, for instance. my friends can be totally cheerful and amiable with people for weeks -- even months -- but the day they show their humanity, boom! someone (or many ones) begin the judging.

I just think it's interesting that our nature is to be human -- rotten, even -- yet we hold ourselves to a standard that is so high and often a huge, suppressing facade just to make others think everything is ok.

don't get me wrong. this is not deep. in fact, it's a slam on myself for the many times I've shown my humanity. I just find it quite intriguing when I think of the opportunities I've had to show it millions of times more, without any positive reinforcement. yet when it comes out once, the handcuffs are slapped on.

so maybe I need to remember that the Kroger cashier has held it together for years, perhaps, when she snaps at me for not having my Kroger card. and that others maybe haven't had a perfect day, either, but they've done really well up until this point.

just a thought.


1 Comments - 2 Kudos
and a good one.
Posted by Jams on January 21, 2007 - Sunday 7:48 PM

TGIT (Thank God it's Tuesday)

I've just returned from an adventuresome road trip with friends who are exceptionally near and dear to my heart, so why, one might ask, am I thanking God it's Tuesday (particularly when Tuesday means the road trip is over)?

There are a few explanations for this. Some of the main reasons I'm thanking God it's Tuesday, despite the fact I'm away from my friends and back in the "real world" are...

1. This Tuesday begins a really short work week, which is always fun.

2. I have some pretty hilarious memories to think back on when I start missing my girls...

3. The pictures are now downloaded and it doesn't matter if my battery dies.

4. My suitcase is unpacked and back in its hiding place, as opposed to acting as the center of my entire wardrobe.

5. Coming home from a fun getaway -- albeit adventuresome, and not always in a good way -- allows me to sincerely and blissfully appreciate my norm. Who'd have thunk it?

6. I got to hang out with yet another set of fun friends tonight. Woohoo!!!

7. I have more than my car charger to rely on for keeping my phone alive.

8. I know the road system here.

9. I know that there's a strong probability we'll have a next time, and I can already start looking forward to that.

(Thanks, girls. I love you.)


1 Comments
THAT IS TOO FUNNY!!!
Posted by Christy (Kris) on January 17, 2007 - Wednesday 8:53 AM

the love of my life

The city of Los Angeles once named a street after Jack Bauer in gratitude for his saving the city several times. They had to rename it after people kept dying when they tried to cross the street. No one crosses Jack Bauer and lives.

Passed out, surrounded by terrorists and nerve gas, and handcuffed to a table leg, Jack Bauer laughed to himself and said, "I have them right where I want them."

If everyone on "24" followed Jack Bauer's instructions, it would be called "12."

Jack Bauer's calendar goes from March 31st to April 2nd. No one fools Jack Bauer.

Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man.

Once, someone tried to tell Jack Bauer a "knock knock" joke. In a matter of minutes, Jack Bauer found out who was there, who they worked for, and where the bomb was.

When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer hates lemonade.

Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.

If Jack Bauer's gun jams, it's because he wanted to beat you with it.

American Idol is only popular because it has a commercial for "24."

Jack Bauer once won a game of Connect 4 in three moves.

Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer.

Jack doesn't believe in Murphy's Law, only Bauer's Law: "Whatever CAN go wrong WILL be resolved in a period of 24 hours."

Jack Bauer wasn't born, he was unleashed.

Jack Bauer could strangle you with a cordless phone.

On a high school math test, Jack Bauer put down "violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Jack Bauer solves all his problems with violence.

Tony was once shot in the neck, rushed to the hospital, underwent emergency surgery and was back on the job in just a few hours. Jack Bauer still can't believe that wimp went to the hospital first.

When someone asks him how his day is going, Jack replies, "Previously, on 24..."

Simon Says should be renamed to Jack Bauer Says because if Jack Bauer says something, you'd better do it.

Jack Bauer once arm wrestled Superman. The stipulations were that the loser had to wear his underwear on the outside of his pants forevermore.

When Google can't find something, it asks Jack Bauer for help.

In the 18 months where Jack Bauer was presumed dead, Tony Almeida was put in a coma, Michelle and David Palmer were killed, a major hurricane raveged the Gulf Coast, and Rob Schneider made another movie. See what happens when Bauer isn't around?

You know Jack Bauer loves Audrey when he willingly gives up the opportunity to torture her.

When President Palmer quit to start doing Allstate commercials, it took him 43 takes before he could stop saying, "You're in good hands with Jack Bauer."

Chase waited until he was sure Jack Bauer was dead before he dumped Kim.

Jack Bauer can get McDonald's breakfast after 10:30.

When Jack Bauer was a child, he made his mother finish his vegetables.

People with amnesia still remember Jack Bauer.

Jack Bauer removed the "Escape" button from his keyboard. Jack Bauer never needs to escape.

Finding Nemo would have been vastly more exciting had Jack Bauer been looking for him.

If Jack Bauer lived next door to Kramer, Kramer would knock before entering.

3 Comments - 5 Kudos
LOL. That is AWESOME. :-D
Posted by Ashley on January 10, 2007 - Wednesday 8:08 PM

RJ - You crack me up! Where'd you get this list? I MUST forward your blog to my neighbor, who's an avid 24 fan! Although, the less-than-perfect references to the "love of my life" -Superman... I'll forward it anyway! See you Tue!
Posted by lotts2tel on January 13, 2007 - Saturday 10:26 AM

Absolutely hilarious! I JUST got finished watching the premiere of '24'!!! Please tell me you and C aren't waiting until it comes out on DVD! ;o)
...now please excuse me, while I go read this to my parents.
Posted by Skye on January 14, 2007 - Sunday 7:28 PM

made my list, checked it twice...

I did a lot of list-making this Christmas season -- for gifts, parties, food, packing, etc. -- but something I didn't plan for ended up on my list, too.

I relaxed. And when I say relax, I mean RELAX. I had the greatest time at home playing with my adorable nephew, catching up with family and friends, and enjoying just being, and being on my Coast, at that! the week was capped off by a fun night out with my wonderfully crazy cousins -- who can say they have fun family members like that? it was the true icing on the cake (even if we will be catching up on sleep for a day or two!).

All this is to say that I learned the true value of adding "relaxing" to my many lists. Hopefully it will appear on many more in 2007! :-)

1 Comments - 2 Kudos

Ahhh... such a nice goal. I 'spose I should add it to my list of wishes for 2007. I'm glad to hear that time with friends and family truly allowed you an opportunity to relax. Look forward to hearing more about your '07 year!
Posted by lotts2tel on December 31, 2006 - Sunday 11:22 AM [Remove] [Reply to this]

sighting!!!

For those of you have wondered if it's true, it IS. Santa is REAL. I saw him tonight at Old Venice in Jackson. He was incognito, but he chatted with the Jackson, MS version of S&TC and we all confirmed it -- he's the real thing.

No worries. I put in a good word for each and every one of you. :-)

You're welcome.


1 Comments
No way! I saw him here at the base library on Fort Leonardwood, and he was with his wife. Now this was the closest thing to an authentic Santa Claus I have EVER seen, since Miracle on 34th Street~ Are you sure he didn't mention seeing me???
Posted by Çhr阮ïñå on December 21, 2006 - Thursday 5:54 AM

a steadfast spirit

Two of my all-time favorite Scriptures come from the book of Psalms.

One is the entire chapter of Psalms 139. Sometimes I think it was written just for me, in all my rebellion and stubbornness and repentance and little girl ways.

The other passage is Psalms 51:10, but I realized this weekend that I've only been "using" it for half of it. In this verse, David asks God to create in him a pure heart and to renew within him a steadfast spirit. I get the clean heart part. My heart seems to always need a good scrubbing in a hot shower. But a steadfast spirit? I guess I've taken that half of the verse for granted all this time, because I think I just got its significance.

Maybe if I prayed more for a steadfast spirit along with a clean heart, I'd feel less often of a need for God to purify my heart. Sort of like shampoo and conditioner. You can use shampoo without conditioner, but the two work much better to clean, nourish and fortify when applied as a set. Maybe if I had a stronger, more disciplined, more steadfast spirit, I would be less inclined to take my heart to places that make it need a shower. Just maybe.

"Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me."
Psalm 51:10

1 Comments
Very interesting... shampoo and conditioner analogy. ;o) I am working on this as well, but I definitely struggle probably more than most these days. :o) Thanks for the scripture reference though. It is always good to be reminded of places in the bible that hold significance to the 'here and now' that we all deal with. ;o)
Posted by Çhr阮ïñå on November 11, 2006 - Saturday 10:19 AM

letter I don't intend to send (11/8/06)

Dear Fellow Drivers of Jackson, Mississippi:

It's very special to me that we get to share the roads we drive.
In a fast-paced world that's less personal than ever, it's a strange sort of comfort to know that no matter where I go in the Jackson-Metro area, you are sure to be there...slowly driving in front of me in the left lane, hurriedly rushing over to the middle or right lane to cut me off unexpectedly, and even, on the most cherished occasions, riding my -- ahem -- bumper, even when I'm going over the speed limit.

I mean, it's obvious that you always want to be around me, and I'm truly flattered. I am! But sometimes, a girl needs a break. (Not from you, of course, but from the general hustle and bustle involved in driving around you.)
Tell you what...my birthday has come and gone with nothing more than (the sweet but obligatory) honks and special waves from you, so let's do something special to commemorate this, the weekend I move from one apartment to another. K? K!

In honor of my last few round trips involving Lakeland Drive, let's -- it's radical, so listen up! -- let's give rebekah some space! That's right! When you see that little white car with the redhead at the wheel, just take a deep breath, grab that Prozac, and let her do her thing!

I know I'm asking a lot, and I sincerely don't expect each of you to be able to sacrifice this much this soon, but for those of you who can, wow. I will so appreciate it.

And you know what? I may even try to give you some space, too. Why, you may ask, should I have to sacrifice on my special moving weekend? Well, because that's just the way I roll.

So thanks for this! I look forward to catching you in my rearview mirror very soon. Lots of love!

rebekah ;-)

p.s. If you think you've ever seen me being one of those impatient, inconsiderate drivers, I beg your pardon! (It wasn't me.)


6 Comments - 4 Kudos
Çhr阮ïñå
I love you girl! Be careful with the moving! I hate moving... how ironic for a woman who moves several times a year it seems. ;o)
Posted by Çhr阮ïñå on November 8, 2006 - Wednesday 3:24 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]


Ashley
Reason #1,726 why I love RJ: Her blogs! :D
Posted by Ashley on November 9, 2006 - Thursday 12:06 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

a few of my favorite things

I heart....
...my family.
...hearing my nephew's sweet voice.
...dating my best friend.
...laughing uncontrollably.
...wit.
...time spent with old friends that makes the past feel just like yesterday.
...taco salad, blueberry pie, Blue Bell homemade vanilla ice cream, watermelon, Coke, cereal, muffalettas, Taco Bell, red curry chicken, celery, chicken salad, Carl's steaks, Tony Chaucere's, chili cheese tater tots, Buffalo Wild Wings, gumbo, Chick-Fil-A, and a good hamburger. But not all at the same sitting.
...hope.
...working with people I like.
...traveling.
...fresh air and sunshine.
...pictures.
...music.
...not knowing what's next, but knowing God won't give me more than I can handle.
...the moon (especially when it's a sliver of a thumbnail).
...cheap gas.
...modern technology.
...where I am in life.
...being a girl.

a few of my favorite things

I heart....
...my family.
...hearing my nephew's sweet voice.
...dating my best friend.
...laughing uncontrollably.
...wit.
...time spent with old friends that makes the past feel just like yesterday.
...taco salad, blueberry pie, Blue Bell homemade vanilla ice cream, watermelon, Coke, cereal, muffalettas, Taco Bell, red curry chicken, celery, chicken salad, Carl's steaks, Tony Chaucere's, chili cheese tater tots, Buffalo Wild Wings, gumbo, Chick-Fil-A, and a good hamburger. But not all at the same sitting.
...hope.
...working with people I like.
...traveling.
...fresh air and sunshine.
...pictures.
...music.
...not knowing what's next, but knowing God won't give me more than I can handle.
...the moon (especially when it's a sliver of a thumbnail).
...cheap gas.
...modern technology.
...where I am in life.
...being a girl.

can't take my mind off you

For the past 29 years, I really thought growing up would come in the form of a birthday, or maybe a relationship, or possibly some career- or family- or health-related event. Instead, it's been with me everywhere I've gone these past few weeks, and it looks very different than I thought it would.

There is nothing right or normal or understandable about any girl dealing with the pain of her mother's illness since she was in junior high, and becoming completely parentless the month she turns 30. I guess it's even harder to swallow when that girl is someone I know well and love deeply.

For seven years, I've wondered if I was supposed to be angry or guilty or sad about this situation, because heaven knows I've experienced all those emotions plus some during this rich, full, life-changing friendship with sweet Jane. I wish I'd already had the great epiphany that is bound to show me what to feel now that my dear friend is preparing to bury virtually her last remaining family member, but I haven't. All I know for certain is that I can't take my mind off her, but maybe I'm not supposed to. Maybe it's good to be constantly reminded that she needs her friend, despite the angry, guilty, sad, contemplative or otherwise seemingly wrong feelings that are stirring inside of rebekah that day.

Adulthood. And so it is.

365 days: 12 months; 4 seasons; 1 year

That's how long it's been since Hurricane Katrina ravaged the Mississippi, Louisiana and Alabama gulf coasts, but it feels like a lifetime. I, of course, don't live there every day and see its damage, so I can't really speak as a true native anymore -- but what I have seen has changed my perspective on life entirely.

As a transplant from a place that once was, here are my post-Katrina thoughts, one year later:

1. Thank God my family is safe.

2. What the freak happened?

3. Was that storm really THAT big?

4. For the love of all that's good and holy, stop talking about effin New Orleans as though nothing else was affected.

5. Man. Nature is powerful.

6. I love storms. And now I kind of hate them, too.

7. Those insurance companies had better be glad they didn't hurt my grandparents. I'm pretty sure I would get vicious.

8. It still is a disaster area in some spots, though much hard work has gone into cleaning and rebuilding.

9. Where, pray tell, is Tullis? From the ripe young age of 5, I had big plans to commit myself to the love of my life there.

10. I heart my coast, its people and its spirit.

To those of you who have survived and continue to show that spirit, thank you for giving me something to work toward.

To those of you who care and have shown it, thank you. Even though everything has changed, home is still home. God bless you for caring and showing it -- in any way.

And to those who we lost to Katrina -- in any way -- no one knew her strength and power until she attacked our landscape. We honor you for doing what you thought was right, and we hope we are loving your family and friends properly.
One year is not a very long time to a place that was literally turned upside down in one day -- but it's a lifetime to those who live with the reality of the disaster.

Comments

Well put, Bekah.
Posted by Jams on September 5, 2006 - Tuesday 9:05 PM

letter I don't intend to send

Dear Random Person I've Never Met Who MySpace Messaged Me:

Thank you for contacing me on MySpace! It's always fun to log on and have new mail and friend requests. I think, "Hmmmm, is this someone I know from my current life -- maybe high school or college? Or maybe they're a friend of a friend and just found me on here! Yay!"

Here lately, though, it's been less of that, and more of you -- a struggling musician who doesn't already exist in my world or "online entrepreneur" who apparently thinks that becoming random people's MySpace friends will be the true secret to your success.

While I really appreciate whatever it is inside of you that saw my picture and said, "Her! Yes! Bug her and you will become famous!," I also would really appreciate your not messaging me about the latest way to make $500 a day by staying home anymore.

It's not that I'm not interested; I just don't care. Lots of luck to you with making new friends today! Have fun! :)

All my best, ~rebekah

rebekah's general warning: "letters I don't intend to send" is not an original concept by rj, but a cheap rip-off of an idea by Mindy Raf, one of the most hilarious comediennes ever. I just now think in terms of these letters when something really amuses or annoys me.

Comments:
Smartly amusing, my dear! Please don't forget the little people...
Posted by Jams on August 21, 2006 - Monday 8:50 PM