Friday, August 3, 2012

How it all begins.


My earliest get-together memories on my daddy's side of the family involve a great group of cousins -- most a little older than me, all way cooler than I could ever aspire to be -- who gave just the right amount of attention to this annoying younger cousin, and without fail, made us all laugh non-stop.

Around the time I was just "getting" jokes (or maybe stopping my bad habit of making up really terrible ones in lieu of using actual humor), I vividly recall my cousin Penny's vivacious presence and command of a room when telling her breaking-news-style funny story of the moment.

To channel Sophia from "The Golden Girls," picture this:

The setting was my Grandma Johnson's house -- a serene environment on a regular day, but bustling with literally hundreds of her descendants and their signature potluck dishes on get-together day.

The year was sometime in early to mid-80s, so the hair was big, shoulder pads were in, and eye shadow and lipstick colors were far from timid.

Enter Penny, who fit the fashion bill perfectly. Always dressed in the latest and full of personality, this particular day in my memory, her jokes all seemed to begin with, "See, there was this guy..."

As an elementary school kid, I may not have even fully understood the jokes and their punch lines, but I did comprehend a few things: Penny was full of life, she wore cool clothes, she and my other very hip cousins didn't ignore me, and most importantly to me at that moment, she was great for a laugh.

Through several decades, quite a few wardrobe changes, a variety of hairspray and product adjustments, a widening of lipstick color ranges, and life choices that for Penny has added a precious husband and two beautiful children, one thing remains: when Penny is in the room, she is the life of the party, and whether or not you're related to the Johnsons, you're guaranteed to laugh at her jokes and creatively expressed stories. They may not all start with "There was this guy" now, but they're always worth a listen.

Within the last few years, Penny and her family have dealt with the ugliness of cancer -- something no one should have to experience. The family's faith has remained solid and admirable, and even during hospital visits, Penny has managed to share her trademark hilariousness in the style that only she can.

With exposure to the medical field and a hospital steeped in a century of faith, I heard recently about a clergyman sharing with a friend that sometimes God's spirit of healing doesn't always come in the form of a medical miracle with the earthly, seemingly win-win results we'd like to see. Sometimes that healing is delivered gently and graciously by a Father who created this world to be perfect, but watching us mar it with sin and subsequently, pain, He proceeds to heal His children by alleviating their hurt and bringing them home into an ultimate situation of comfort.

That morsel of wisdom, though beautiful, is never easy for this incredibly human, frail mind to swallow.

My selfish soul, who has only experienced earth, wants Patrick and Penny's love story to live on right here in the South, where I feel they both belong. In their human bodies. I want them to celebrate anniversaries until they're old and gray. I want their children to always be able to call their mom on the phone and hear her stories, or her admonishments, or her encouragement, or how to cook their favorite meals.

But, as we can all celebrate, I'm not God.

He has bigger plans for this beautiful family that will undoubtedly spread their incredible story of faith and childlike love for His will farther and wider, and I'm entirely too feeble-minded as a mere human to know what those plans are.

Even with that knowledge, am I happy about their situtation? No way.

Do I understand it? Of course not.

Would I change it in a heartbeat given the power? Absolutely.

But it's not my option, and that is truly good. My truth to accept is that my cousin was brought into our lives not merely by family dynamics, but by God's willing hand.

There are probably greater reasons Penny came into the Johnson clan, but I like to think our Heavenly Father knew I enjoyed a good laugh, even at an early age. I like to think He knew my sister was fascinated with shoes and that we enjoyed Penny and Sherry's fashion shows (which may or may not have also been known to the rest of the world, including Penny and Sherry, as dinner at Grandma Johnson's house). I like to think that God used a hilarious, savvy, fashionable businesswoman to show me that girls do and can just wanna have fun, and that He used that same hilarious, savvy, fashionable wife and mom to show me that wives and moms also do and can just wanna have fun. I know God used that hilarious, savvy, fashionable believer to reiterate to me that Christians do and can just wanna have fun.

And I know without doubt that no matter how long His spirit of healing lasts in its earthly form for any of us, our Father who art in Heaven will continue to use Penny's story to show the value of strong faith and trust, the beauty of a bright smile and deep laugh in spite of circumstances, and the unmatchable fire of pure love for family.

So, all this leads me to think it's high time to change the beginning of Penny's story.

I mean, I'm the first to admit that "See, there was this guy" did have its day, but maybe it's time to switch it up a bit.

Because now, when I talk about Penny, I hear myself beginning her vivacious story with, "See, there's this really hilarious girl."

No matter what escapade we're telling of Penny's, we'll never forget the punch line. And we know that as always will be her trademark, we'll have a great laugh while sharing these precious, unforgettable memories.

Penny, thank you, thank you, thank you for these sweet memories of laughter, love, time spent with and dedication invested into this family. Thank you for creating the family Facebook group so we could all keep up, share photos and reconnect online. Thank you for writing the beautiful intro to that group about the Circle of Eleven. It touched many of us in a lot of ways.

Hugest for "my memory box," as my nephew has taken to saying, thank you for never neglecting to make me feel special, no matter how young or irrelevant or dorky I was. (And yes, this applies to last year's family reunion, too.)

It's an honor to be your cousin.


“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”   Maya Angelou









Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Nervous as a cat.

Some things make me nervous as a cat. One of them is controversy.

Please don't ask me why. I'm not saying I'm proud of it.

But the graphic sure is funny, isn't it? :-)

:: sigh ::


Saturday, July 21, 2012

High Five.

Five things I'm thankful for today are:

  1. My job. Not only do I realize how fortunate I am to even have a job in this economy, I'm also aware that enjoying that job puts me in a unique and beautiful category. I prayed for this for so long, and now I am here. Blessed am I.
  2. My foot. My stupid, sore, ugly-shoe-clad, plantar fasciitis-ridden foot. Were it not for this foot, I wouldn't appreciate the 8,456,293 neglected pairs of shoes in my closet that I WILL wear one day when this foot finally heals. I also wouldn't look forward to things like running, walking distances, adding variety to my exercise routine, or doing anything that puts weight on my foot. So, you know, good reminder. Every dang day. 
  3. Upcoming getaways. Switzerland, you ask? The West Coast, perhaps? Maybe a little jaunt to the Pacific Northwest? Not quite. But from my anticipation of a road trip that'll include visits with friends and family, you'd think I'd won an Oprah dream vacation. It's really nice to have things to look forward to.
  4. Stress. Yeah, I know. This one's a little Pollyanna-ish, even for me. But still. Feeling stress reminds me that I don't always feel that way, and that there is a difference between good stress and bad stress. (Maybe I'll blog more on this later. It's a topic that interests me.) So I am grateful to recognize the difference between the two, to realize this isn't my norm anymore, and to find ways to relieve it!
  5. LOL. A teacher I had in high school was great about laughing at her own mistakes. I saw this at the time, and thought I caught on, but I think I'm aware that with each new mistake -- minor or major -- that I maybe don't have that down quite so much. So God bless Mrs. Farris for sharing her stories and demonstrating the value of laughing out loud as often as possible. Since she was attacked by cancer a few years back and I didn't get to say these specific words to her, I really hope she knows just how valuable those lessons were to me. (Also, the typing skills are coming in handy, too.) Knowing Mrs. Farris, I have no doubt she's still cracking herself and everyone around her up, even in Heaven. I'm striving daily to ace that test myself. 


Tuesday, July 17, 2012

What Not To Say.

Do you laughingly tell people you "have no filter" when you speak? Better yet, is one of your points of pride how thoughtfully you dole out each.and.every.word before opening your carefully groomed mouth?

If your eyes lit up while excitedly nodding at either of these questions, you're cordially invited to read my rant -- ahem, blog post -- on a few things I recommend never saying. 

Please note that I don't make these suggestions* because they're rude or even because they're just plain silly. No, no. There is much more calculated method behind this madness -- I promise.

I offer these sentences as items to never, ever, ever speak because 
a) they either apply to absolutely everyone, or 
b) they apply to absolutely no one. 

Hence, better left unsaid.

  1. I'm not good with confrontation.* - Who is? Unless we're terrorists, attorneys (no offense, attorneys), or collection agents by choice, can any of us say we've perfected the art of confrontation, and get jazzed up about it any at given time? Not I, said the redhead. Which is why there's an asterisk by this one. Well played, RJ.
  2. It's just that I hate being sick. - Really? In that case, I can see why you took the time to point this out, since it certainly makes you incredibly unique. Most people I know (including me, who's not feeling well right now, which is why you're explaining your distance from my germ even though you're dating me) rather enjoy not being 100%. Huh. Now that you've cleared that up, I get it now, and can appreciate your uniqueness even more. Sweet! 
  3. My life is just PERFECT! - This is one of my biggest pet peeves. While I, too, have been so full of contentment that it would take an atomic bomb to ruin my joy, no one can really say their life is perfect. Plus, when people do say that, it almost sounds like they're trying too hard. You know? Why not, "I'm so thankful things are going well" or "I really couldn't ask for more right now"? Why the word "perfect"? Ugh. (At this point, I always feel like I have to give some disclaimer that I'm not bitter about life, but I'm not even going to try that. I mean, I'm not. If you believe me, great. If not, this blog is voluntary for you to read, not required. Right? Wow. That was freeing!)
  4. Literally.* - If you don't know the meaning of this word, do not use it. If you know the meaning and cannot literally apply it in the sentence you're using, don't include it in your sentence. Period.

* Items marked with asterisks are things I sadly know for a fact that I've actually said out loud. Hopefully only once, though. Then I caught myself and mentally tarred and feathered the little rebekah inside my head. May you do the same if in a similar situation. I mean that in the nicest way possible. Obvs.

Do you have suggestions to add to this list? If so, feel free to "throw me something, mister," and leave your feedback on this blog post. I'm always open to new pet peeves. It's probably a big part of what makes my life so literally perfect! 




Saturday, July 14, 2012

Gratitude.

Funny how quickly I rush to the computer when I need release for worries, but how delayed my post is to shout from the (blogosphere) rooftops the sincere gratitude I feel the minute that same concern is relieved.

Don't get me wrong. I felt like I could run a marathon when I heard a good report on a loved one's health. But isn't it easier, all the way around, to log complaints than it is to give praise? I find that's true at the grocery store with customer service, too. Kind of sad that it applies to my Giver of Life.

At any rate, the relief I did and do feel at this very positively answered prayer is best summed up in a decade-old song by Nichole Nordeman, aptly titled, well, "Gratitude."

Watch the YouTube video:



The lyrics are here:


Send some rain, would You send some rain?
'Cause the earth is dry and needs to drink again
And the sun is high and we are sinking in the shade
Would You send a cloud, thunder long and loud?
Let the sky grow black and send some mercy down
Surely You can see that we are thirsty and afraid
But maybe not, not today
Maybe You'll provide in other ways
And if that's the case . . .

We'll give thanks to You
With gratitude
For lessons learned in how to thirst for You
How to bless the very sun that warms our face
If You never send us rain

Daily bread, give us daily bread
Bless our bodies, keep our children fed
Fill our cups, then fill them up again tonight
Wrap us up and warm us through
Tucked away beneath our sturdy roofs
Let us slumber safe from danger's view this time
Or maybe not, not today
Maybe You'll provide in other ways
And if that's the case . . .

We'll give thanks to You
With gratitude
A lesson learned to hunger after You
That a starry sky offers a better view if no roof is overhead 
And if we never taste that bread

Oh, the differences that often are between
What we want and what we really need

So grant us peace, Jesus, grant us peace
Move our hearts to hear a single beat
Between alibis and enemies tonight
Or maybe not, not today
Peace might be another world away
And if that's the case . . .

We'll give thanks to You
With gratitude
For lessons learned in how to trust in You
That we are blessed beyond what we could ever dream
In abundance or in need
And if You never grant us peace

But Jesus, would You, please...






Tuesday, July 10, 2012

A Great Concern.

My Grandma Johnson was a very strong woman in every sense of the word.

Deeply rooted in her faith, sturdy in physique, able to mentally, physically, emotionally, or spiritually take on just about anything that came her way, and not one to succumb to even the slightest cold.

(Seriously. I'm not sure if it was the Vicks salve she used each night before bed or the hymns she lifted up to Heaven with her sweet alto voice every day, but the woman never went to the hospital until the month before she died -- including through the healthy births of eleven children. You read correctly. Eleven.)

Part of that strength I remember so vividly was Grandma's stubbornness. Whether pursing her lips about the "healthier" 2% milk she did.not.order on her grocery list or turning off the TV when "filth came on" by yanking the plug from the wall, Grandma Johnson knew her mind, and was not shy about sharing her determinations.

[In case you're wondering, yes, I am her biological grandchild. Shocking, I know! :-) ]

One of the most precious memories I have of Grandma is her quick reassurance to anyone telling her not to worry about something, "I am not worried. The Bible says not to worry. I just have great concerns."

Ranking right up there with the "You are my sunshine" tune, regular sleepovers next door, picking blueberries in the summer, watching her beautiful hands make those delicious chicken and dumplings with eight decades of love, and her favorite saying of "God has an all-seeing eye and an all-hearing ear," I think I heard the "great concern" statement so often that even at a very young age, I was hiding grins at the idea of Grandma Johnson not worrying about this or that.

Grandma's point, of course, was that she didn't want to disobey God or His Word -- a compulsion so sincere and pure that just thinking about it makes me teary eyed as I type. But admitting she did still have the feeling behind worry was so sweet, and equally earnest.

When things bother me -- usually those pesky ones I can't do anything about, naturally -- I quickly realize why God instructed us in His Word not to worry.

I mean, yes, it's easy to do. Hard not to do, actually.

But man, it can eat away at you, can't it?

I guess everyone probably processes differently, but some days, when something big worries me, I get jittery, or start clenching my teeth, or can't keep my hands or mind busy enough. On really good days, I do all of those things.

Then on other days, I'm good for absolutely nothing, but in the opposite way. I could sleep all day -- all day! Grandma would have had a FIT! -- with no productivity, all over something I have absolutely no say-so in.

So even if most people process their troubles better than my extremes, how are any of us really of much use to anyone, especially God, if we do spend our time worrying? It's kind of hard for me to focus on something I need to do accurately, like fold clothes, if I am bothered that much. To take on tasks for others...well, that's nearly impossible.

So, I get where Grandma was going with her "great concerns." And some days, I'm right there with her. I definitely can't just let troubles drop off my radar and pretend they don't exist. But I can remember that I'm not the Pilot, but I am here for a reason, and if it's to be the best passenger I can be, then I certainly can't do that by obsessing about things I can't control.

Also, I can remind myself to breathe. Come to think of it, maybe that little secret was behind Grandma Johnson's ongoing relationship with her Vicks salve. :-)







Thursday, June 14, 2012

So Special.

A high school commencement address is sweeping the nation these days.

Ok, if not the nation, at least the news stations, and if not every news station, then most definitely the PR circuit.

Apparently an English teacher in Boston – no, it’s NOT a coincidence that several of my favorite things are involved here – gave a graduation speech that is ruffling some feathers.

Why, you ask? Did English teacher David McCullough tout controversial issues? Go against all his school's mission statement stands for? Proclaim the Jerry Sanduskys of the world innocent?

Well, not exactly.

David McCullough told this graduating class that they were not special.

This might be a problem were that ALL he told them, but of course, his speech wasn’t just one sentence. (You’ve been to a graduation, right? You know this.)

So there were other words in the speech, among them being:

“Climb the mountain so that you can see the world, not so the world can see you."

"Go to Paris to BE in Paris, not to cross it off your list and congratulate yourself for being worldly.”

"Exercise free will and creative, independent thought not for the satisfactions they will bring you, but for the good they will do others, the rest of the 6.8 billion–and those who will follow them."

Etc.

There are other high points, too -- many of them wickedly humorous -- but please, watch for yourself.

This link should take you to YouTube, where you can watch: http://youtu.be/_lfxYhtf8o4

I’m also pasting text below.

I hope you get from this less than 15-minute address a bit of what I did, which is basically a nicely packaged synopsis of "Dead Poets Society," 2012-style.

Kudos, teach.



Transcript courtesy of thewellesleyreport.com:

Dr. Wong, Dr. Keough, Mrs. Novogroski, Ms. Curran, members of the board of education, family and friends of the graduates, ladies and gentlemen of the Wellesley High School class of 2012, for the privilege of speaking to you this afternoon, I am honored and grateful. Thank you.

So here we are… commencement… life’s great forward-looking ceremony.

(And don’t say, “What about weddings?” Weddings are one-sided and insufficiently effective. Weddings are bride-centric pageantry. Other than conceding to a list of unreasonable demands, the groom just stands there. No stately, hey-everybody-look-at-me procession. No being given away. No identity-changing pronouncement. And can you imagine a television show dedicated to watching guys try on tuxedos? Their fathers sitting there misty-eyed with joy and disbelief, their brothers lurking in the corner muttering with envy. Left to men, weddings would be, after limits-testing procrastination, spontaneous, almost inadvertent… during halftime… on the way to the refrigerator. And then there’s the frequency of failure: statistics tell us half of you will get divorced. A winning percentage like that’ll get you last place in the American League East. The Baltimore Orioles do better than weddings.)

But this ceremony… commencement… a commencement works every time. From this day forward… truly… in sickness and in health, through financial fiascos, through midlife crises and passably attractive sales reps at trade shows in Cincinnati, through diminishing tolerance for annoyingness, through every difference, irreconcilable and otherwise, you will stay forever graduated from high school, you and your diploma as one, ‘til death do you part.

No, commencement is life’s great ceremonial beginning, with its own attendant and highly appropriate symbolism. Fitting, for example, for this auspicious rite of passage, is where we find ourselves this afternoon, the venue. Normally, I avoid clichés like the plague, wouldn’t touch them with a ten-foot pole, but here we are on a literal level playing field. That matters. That says something. And your ceremonial costume… shapeless, uniform, one-size-fits-all. Whether male or female, tall or short, scholar or slacker, spray-tanned prom queen or intergalactic X-Box assassin, each of you is dressed, you’ll notice, exactly the same. And your diploma… but for your name, exactly the same.

All of this is as it should be, because none of you is special.

You are not special. You are not exceptional.

Contrary to what your u9 soccer trophy suggests, your glowing seventh grade report card, despite every assurance of a certain corpulent purple dinosaur, that nice Mister Rogers and your batty Aunt Sylvia, no matter how often your maternal caped crusader has swooped in to save you… you’re nothing special.

Yes, you’ve been pampered, cosseted, doted upon, helmeted, bubble-wrapped. Yes, capable adults with other things to do have held you, kissed you, fed you, wiped your mouth, wiped your bottom, trained you, taught you, tutored you, coached you, listened to you, counseled you, encouraged you, consoled you and encouraged you again. You’ve been nudged, cajoled, wheedled and implored. You’ve been feted and fawned over and called sweetie pie. Yes, you have. And, certainly, we’ve been to your games, your plays, your recitals, your science fairs. Absolutely, smiles ignite when you walk into a room, and hundreds gasp with delight at your every tweet. Why, maybe you’ve even had your picture in the Townsman. And now you’ve conquered high school… and, indisputably, here we all have gathered for you, the pride and joy of this fine community, the first to emerge from that magnificent new building…

But do not get the idea you’re anything special. Because you’re not.

The empirical evidence is everywhere, numbers even an English teacher can’t ignore. Newton, Natick, Nee… I am allowed to say Needham, yes? …that has to be two thousand high school graduates right there, give or take, and that’s just the neighborhood Ns. Across the country no fewer than 3.2 million seniors are graduating about now from more than 37,000 high schools. That’s 37,000 valedictorians… 37,000 class presidents… 92,000 harmonizing altos… 340,000 swaggering jocks… 2,185,967 pairs of Uggs. But why limit ourselves to high school? After all, you’re leaving it. So think about this: even if you’re one in a million, on a planet of 6.8 billion that means there are nearly 7,000 people just like you. Imagine standing somewhere over there on Washington Street on Marathon Monday and watching sixty-eight hundred yous go running by. And consider for a moment the bigger picture: your planet, I’ll remind you, is not the center of its solar system, your solar system is not the center of its galaxy, your galaxy is not the center of the universe. In fact, astrophysicists assure us the universe has no center; therefore, you cannot be it. Neither can Donald Trump… which someone should tell him… although that hair is quite a phenomenon.

“But, Dave,” you cry, “Walt Whitman tells me I’m my own version of perfection! Epictetus tells me I have the spark of Zeus!” And I don’t disagree. So that makes 6.8 billion examples of perfection, 6.8 billion sparks of Zeus. You see, if everyone is special, then no one is. If everyone gets a trophy, trophies become meaningless. In our unspoken but not so subtle Darwinian competition with one another–which springs, I think, from our fear of our own insignificance, a subset of our dread of mortality — we have of late, we Americans, to our detriment, come to love accolades more than genuine achievement. We have come to see them as the point — and we’re happy to compromise standards, or ignore reality, if we suspect that’s the quickest way, or only way, to have something to put on the mantelpiece, something to pose with, crow about, something with which to leverage ourselves into a better spot on the social totem pole. No longer is it how you play the game, no longer is it even whether you win or lose, or learn or grow, or enjoy yourself doing it… Now it’s “So what does this get me?” As a consequence, we cheapen worthy endeavors, and building a Guatemalan medical clinic becomes more about the application to Bowdoin than the well-being of Guatemalans. It’s an epidemic — and in its way, not even dear old Wellesley High is immune… one of the best of the 37,000 nationwide, Wellesley High School… where good is no longer good enough, where a B is the new C, and the midlevel curriculum is called Advanced College Placement. And I hope you caught me when I said “one of the best.” I said “one of the best” so we can feel better about ourselves, so we can bask in a little easy distinction, however vague and unverifiable, and count ourselves among the elite, whoever they might be, and enjoy a perceived leg up on the perceived competition. But the phrase defies logic. By definition there can be only one best. You’re it or you’re not.

If you’ve learned anything in your years here I hope it’s that education should be for, rather than material advantage, the exhilaration of learning. You’ve learned, too, I hope, as Sophocles assured us, that wisdom is the chief element of happiness. (Second is ice cream… just an fyi) I also hope you’ve learned enough to recognize how little you know… how little you know now… at the moment… for today is just the beginning. It’s where you go from here that matters.

As you commence, then, and before you scatter to the winds, I urge you to do whatever you do for no reason other than you love it and believe in its importance. Don’t bother with work you don’t believe in any more than you would a spouse you’re not crazy about, lest you too find yourself on the wrong side of a Baltimore Orioles comparison. Resist the easy comforts of complacency, the specious glitter of materialism, the narcotic paralysis of self-satisfaction. Be worthy of your advantages. And read… read all the time… read as a matter of principle, as a matter of self-respect. Read as a nourishing staple of life. Develop and protect a moral sensibility and demonstrate the character to apply it. Dream big. Work hard. Think for yourself. Love everything you love, everyone you love, with all your might. And do so, please, with a sense of urgency, for every tick of the clock subtracts from fewer and fewer; and as surely as there are commencements there are cessations, and you’ll be in no condition to enjoy the ceremony attendant to that eventuality no matter how delightful the afternoon.

The fulfilling life, the distinctive life, the relevant life, is an achievement, not something that will fall into your lap because you’re a nice person or mommy ordered it from the caterer. You’ll note the founding fathers took pains to secure your inalienable right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness–quite an active verb, “pursuit”–which leaves, I should think, little time for lying around watching parrots rollerskate on Youtube. The first President Roosevelt, the old rough rider, advocated the strenuous life. Mr. Thoreau wanted to drive life into a corner, to live deep and suck out all the marrow. The poet Mary Oliver tells us to row, row into the swirl and roil. Locally, someone… I forget who… from time to time encourages young scholars to carpe the heck out of the diem. The point is the same: get busy, have at it. Don’t wait for inspiration or passion to find you. Get up, get out, explore, find it yourself, and grab hold with both hands. (Now, before you dash off and get your YOLO tattoo, let me point out the illogic of that trendy little expression–because you can and should live not merely once, but every day of your life. Rather than You Only Live Once, it should be You Live Only Once… but because YLOO doesn’t have the same ring, we shrug and decide it doesn’t matter.)

None of this day-seizing, though, this YLOOing, should be interpreted as license for self-indulgence. Like accolades ought to be, the fulfilled life is a consequence, a gratifying byproduct. It’s what happens when you’re thinking about more important things. Climb the mountain not to plant your flag, but to embrace the challenge, enjoy the air and behold the view. Climb it so you can see the world, not so the world can see you. Go to Paris to be in Paris, not to cross it off your list and congratulate yourself for being worldly. Exercise free will and creative, independent thought not for the satisfactions they will bring you, but for the good they will do others, the rest of the 6.8 billion–and those who will follow them. And then you too will discover the great and curious truth of the human experience is that selflessness is the best thing you can do for yourself. The sweetest joys of life, then, come only with the recognition that you’re not special.

Because everyone is.

Congratulations. Good luck. Make for yourselves, please, for your sake and for ours, extraordinary lives.
David McCullough

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Thankful Tuesday.

Five things I'm thankful for today are:

1. My health! I'm grateful to have been spared from major illnesses, but also to have had pesky minor ones pinpointed, diagnosed and treated. I am feeling like a new person and could not be happier for modern medicine!

2. My past. God truly blessed my "broken road," from the wise to the less than brilliant decisions I've made, He's and led me to greener, stiller pastures, where His peaceful waters flow. I know the present wouldn't be possible, or as appreciated, without the past. Duly noted. Credit given.

3. My peeps. I have this ridiculously supportive and comprehensive cadre of friends and family whom I can rely on when I need them, but who are also there when I'm having a random thought, feel the urge to share a joke, or absolutely must consort with on the latest happenings. I love this. And them.

4. My work. I get paid to do what I love. With people who encourage me in every way. I'm challenged, and it's right. That is all.

5. Love, sweet love. From friends welcoming babies into their families to ones receiving new spouses, love, sweet love is in the air. It's fun to see new beginnings and to be reminded of that excitement and freshness. And I get to watch these chapters unfold!




Monday, April 16, 2012

Johnson Five.

The top five things I plan to do once my foot heals and stops acting so, well, lame are:

1. Dance. Like nobody's watching, even if they are.

2. Run, Forest, run!

3. Kickbox. 5:30. Mondays. Spectrum on Perkins.

4. WEAR THE ADORABLE, ALL-GIRL, NO-NONSENSE-NECESSARY, NEGLECTED SHOES IN MY CLOSET.

5. Take a lot of walks. Just because I can.

Sunday, April 1, 2012

On the Bookshelf: The Last King of Scotland

I just closed the cover on Giles Foden's "The Last King of Scotland." Even though I had a remarkable trip to that country last year, I never would've picked up this read about a physician in Uganda had a friend not handed it to me.

Now that I have picked it up and finished it, I'm reminded again of the value in exploring genres that are not second nature to me.

There are a few gory scenes, but if you're interested in a book that makes you appreciate democracy, this is a good one.



Saturday, March 10, 2012

Abused Puppy Syndrome.

Ever had a friend or relative whom you look up to, but who seems to result in physical pain from giving you the time of day?

Typically, when that happens to me, it's a pretty easy decision to limit my time, emotions, and connections with the person. Yet somehow, some way, some people manage to creep in and slip through that tolerance filter. That phenomena never fails to leaving me shaking my head over what appears to be sincere rudeness. But after some sadness, a rant or two, and a little time, I eagerly think that person -- who's clearly proven themselves to be ridiculously uncaring -- will be different the next time we communicate.

My brilliant cousin and I have come up with what we think is a sadly appropriate name for this disorder: Abused Puppy Syndrome.

In my opinion, if you think that term's too harsh, you've never been treated badly by someone you continue to eagerly and innocently go back to for more. Be thankful for that!

In my experience, Abused Puppy Syndrome probably could happen to anyone, but most often strikes optimists. We bound into a situation expecting the best, eagerly perform our best tricks, whimper away after getting negative reinforcement, lick our wounds for a bit, then get starry eyed again when we see the giver of negative come back. Surely she wants to play with me! It wasn't THAT bad last time! Wait till she sees THAT NEW trick. She'll never frown at us again!

So. This probably sounds like a literal abusive relationship. As in, someone I've dated. To clarify, not the case. (Praise God above.) My experiences with this have providentially been very few, and have always involved those people we love but don't always like: family.

So what's the solution? Become hardened and jaded? Snarl at the "abuser" and refuse to bound through the yard when he drives up? Stop learning fun new tricks?

Well. Yes. That's one approach. However, that approach happens to leave me empty and sad.

So, instead, I keep doing what I do, and reaching out (but just every so often, not every day). I'm not saying this is The Answer to this situation, but since cutting off family isn't an option I can live with, it's the route I take.

Is it fun? Not always. All better? Not yet. But can I sleep at night? Yep.

And for me, that's worth a lot more than the approval of even people I share DNA with.

If you have an abused puppy syndrome story, would you mind sharing your solution? Since family is forever, and since I'm not anticipating major personality changes in myself or anyone else anytime soon, I'd genuinely like to hear it.







Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Giving up.

Since my first Mardi Gras as a Louisiana resident, I've been practicing the discipline of the Lenten season.

Stopping eating bread. Starting daily devotionals. Making more of an effort in various areas. Etc.

What I grew up considering a Catholic-only tradition has taught me as an adult the value and pain of sacrifice, as well as the purpose of this season: the reminder of the ultimate gift Jesus gave us when He willingly offered His earthly body to be brutally murdered on an unhygienic cross for no reason except to absolve slackers like me.

Because of that reminder, Lent will probably always be a part of this Protestant's life, whether or not it's part of the church I attend. (For the record, the practice IS encouraged at First Presbyterian of Baton Rouge, which I wholly appreciate.)

In the past -- and possibly for most of my life -- I've been an over-committer. I've said "yes" too much, spread myself too thinly, gotten burned out, and developed stress from volunteer projects. Stress from volunteer projects. (Can that be right? One wouldn't think so... But yes. I have managed this.)

Don't worry, though, because apparently my new move resolution in '07-'08 was to NOT over-commit, and boy, have I ever stuck to that. In fact, I've stuck to it so well that I've become, as my Nan would say, "plum lazy" in certain areas of my life. Saying no has gotten entirely too easy for me -- so much so that I pretty much let myself to do that as often as I want.

So this year to mark the Lenten season, I've decided to give up, well, giving up. No more slacking after I've committed. No talking myself out of something that's on the calendar. No excuses.

Will I be jumping into the junior league of BR in the next couple of months? Well, no. (Um, baby steps!) But I WILL hold myself accountable in two major areas of my soul and body: church and the gym.

So, goodbye, giving up. I'm afraid I'm giving you up.

See you around Easter!

Or will I....? :-)

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Valet Grocery.

Once upon a time, there was a redhead who really didn't mind grocery shopping. While Wal-Mart was never her favorite place for its own special reasons, grocery shopping itself was never a dread.

Then, the redhead hurt a toe and developed plantar fasciitis. The podiatrist said to stop all activity to help the foot heal. Inactivity didn't help the foot, but the redhead did discover Valet Grocery.

At first the idea seemed crazy -- paying someone to buy groceries? Who is that lazy? But, after months of severe pain from minimal walking, and after subsisting on fast food and convenience store items every few weeks, the redhead needed groceries. Without the foot pain that would surely come from hobbling down a grocery store aisle, if limping around the office was excruciating.

So, Valet Grocery it was. And what a surprise: the delivery fee was only $5. The grocery prices were reasonable. The driver who made the delivery wasn't creepy. The order was accurate. The deliver was made on time, every time. And the foot didn't have to hurt any more from the purchase.

The redhead recommends Valet Grocery. It works it. And is worth every penny of the $5 delivery fee. Plus gratuity.

Beautiful.

You should give it a shot. www.valetgrocery.com


Wednesday, February 1, 2012

#SilentWriters

Conveniently, now that it's Wednesday, I'm committing to join the #SilentWriters movement comprised of prose bearers everywhere who dedicate 60 minutes each Tuesday night to writing in silence.

My writing may not always turn up here, but at least some of it should.

There. I said I'd do it, and I will. Let's see what comes of this newfangled #silentwriting. :-)

Monday, January 30, 2012

Whew.

I know I have at least one faithful reader who will ask why I didn't post much lately next time we talk, so I'd like to clarify that I'm not in a slump or funk or hitting a speed bump. I'm just getting back into (good) routines and am busy!

But the blogs, they are a-formin' in my head, so watch this space.

And thank you for caring. :-)

Friday, January 13, 2012

A Yo Yo Diet.

As a small child hearing about my grandmother's latest fad diets, I swore I'd never participate in those.

Eat cabbage soup (and only cabbage soup) for a month straight? No thank you.

We also heard often about the grapefruit diet, were offered Tab on a regular basis, and were able to recognize what was left of Nan's house after Katrina mainly because of the Slim Fast paraphanalia.

There was no reason for me to not know about a fad diet, or to be attracted to one. And I was NOT going to have any part of it. Ever.

That is, until I gained weight. When that happened, um, YES I want to lose weight quickly, easily and with as little effort as possible! I can sprinkle this powder on my food and drop 10 pounds? Bring it on! Drinking this shake will curb my appetite? Leave that blender out 24/7! Having a tablespoon of that type of vinegar after a meal will absorb fat? Pucker up!

Ah yes. My strong opinion of fad, yo yo diets was deeply rooted and not going anywhere...until my situation changed and I needed a solution.

A yo yo approach to anything is pretty unhealthy, really. I'd not thought of emotions and attitude in quite that light till I read a very familiar passage of scripture this week:

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.” – James 1:2-8

How easy is it for me to be disgusted by bad driving...when I'm not in challenging traffic?

How often do I judge those who make political choices I don't agree with...having never been challenged by circumstances other political parties work to change?

How much does divorce disgust me...me, who's never felt strongly enough about anyone long enough to marry them?

(I could go on and on, but I've probably alienated enough readers for now.)

My point is, all situations could lead to yo yo behavior. And since my volatile emotions are no more attractive than Nan's diet of the week in the 80s, I clearly can't rely on my own devices for stability.

Now that weight is a challenge for me, I can totally imagine that dieting could count as a "trial of many kinds." Yet, the only time I've "counted it pure joy" was to relish the relief that a shallow ex-boyfriend would stop harassing me with 30 extra pounds. Probably not what Paul, or God, had in mind with those words.

When I think of getting into a funk as the equivalent of committing to the cabbage soup diet, it's not such a comforting option.

Developing perseverance may not be easy, but it certainly seems healthier in the long run. Not to mention easier to be around.

So long, yo yo behavior. I think it's time to give perseverance a shot.


Friday, January 6, 2012

Temptation.

First day of carnival season, and I get the baby. That's what I get for caving to the temptation.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Momentum.

I realized a while back that I work better in less confined spaces, at least where words are concerned.

So rather than making actual new year's resolutions, I started going with a broader term to encompass what I wanted to achieve that year: Explore. Remove the excess. Embrace.

You get the picture.

The goals I've had in mind lately were clear, but I hadn't found The Word yet. Then Keri Grayson Horn, a Mississippi friend, posted a Facebook status about momentum. And graciously let me piggyback.

So there we are! All set. Momentum. Take some goals, get moving, keep momentum. Keep doing what's working, with momentum. Delete what's holding me back, and press on with...momentum!

While, like everything, I'm sure it sounds a lot easier than it is, I'm looking forward to this newness.

So. Watch this space. It'll be interesting to see how much momentum I pick up in 2012.

And, of course, happy new year. :-)

Sunday, December 25, 2011

And the soul felt its worth.

I would be terrible at pricing things for retail. I'd also make a pretty rotten salesperson. My elementary school fundraiser efforts usually ended with my asking the neighbors if they were SURE they needed that candle, because I'd hate for them to buy it just on my account.

I'm equally bad about how I value myself, deep down. I mean, sure -- I know I'm loved, I know I'm treasured, and I know I have a skill or two. I don't take lightly my amazing support system, and hopefully, everyone has people in their lives to reassure them of that.

But if I had to put a price tag on RJ; well, I'd do what I'd do with sellable items: look around and compare my value to other similar things. Which when it comes to me looking at the (wo)man in the mirror, is not going to make any dents in the market.

Of all the people my blunders have affected, I'm the one who knows them best, and can relive them with a mere thought. Of every one of my quirks lifelong friends can list, I have five more to add. Of all my efforts at betterment you could point out, I could highlight the many, many, MANY times I've failed. And remind you that in a hundred ways, I have yet to truly succeed.

Maybe because of my skills at these things, as I was shower-singing one of my all-time favorite Christmas carols today, a certain lyric of "O Holy Night" resonated with me:

Long lay the world
In sin and error pining
Till He appeared
And the soul felt its worth.


And I was reminded, we're not just celebrating the pre-inserted standard calendar's birthday of a heroic man whose political activism or philanthropy or inventive genius changed the world I know.

Christmas, and every moment of Christianity, is about realizing that the self-worth I price at rock bottom takes a 180-degree sticker shock once my Lord and Savior appraises it.

With self-help and weight loss sections growing like chia pets in bookstores, we as a world are clearly looking to place higher value on these bodies and souls we live in.

Our final hope for happiness doesn't lie in cutting out carbs (and having a BRAND NEW BODY in just six days!!!). And I'm sad to say that finding everlasting bliss and calm won't be achieved through daily "guided" meditation.

What does significantly up the way we view ourselves, however, is looking at our humanity through the omniscient eyes of a loving God who, for reasons beyond our imaginations, thought, "They don't have to be losers. Let's give 'em a chance."

And He appeared, in the form of childbirth far from a posh birthing suite, in the custody of Joe the Plumber-type parents who really didn't have this in their 5-year plan. (Or at least not in this order, I'd imagine.)

And prophesies came true, and the literal and spiritual world changed, and the collective soul of humankind felt its Divine worth for once, versus the shabby, tainted way we view ourselves.

No more dollar store pricing for us. In the eyes of our Savior, we're beyond Madison Avenue caliber. Which for me, both takes some pressure off, and pushes me to re-appraise RJ and how she's giving thanks for this precious gift.

O holy night, indeed!

Merry Christmas to us all.





Sunday, November 13, 2011

In Tennis Shoes: Open to Suggestions!

So, some of you know that I'm stuck in tennis shoes 24/7 due to a foot issue.

Some people this is no big deal. If you're one of those people and are a female who loves dresses and shoes and being in public, I hope that you never have to experience this issue.

Very related to the tennis shoes regimen, I'm desperately seeking serenity these days. The first 4 months' of treatment has not been working, which means I'm in this predicament for goodness knows how long until the right treatment does work.

I've learned that despite my best efforts, some things I need to achieve serenity are:
  • Socializing...
  • ...in public
  • ...where I don't feel like my attire sticks out like a sore thumb
(There are others, but three are enough for tonight.)

So, I'm now taking suggestions for your ideas of places I can go and socialize in public without sticking out like a sore thumb...while in tennis shoes. And  while wearing attire that matches tennis shoes.

Not the weak effort of "dress pants" at work that just makes me feel like a less attractive Ellen who cannot dance, is not funny, and is not doing this ensemble on purpose.

Ready...set....GO!

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Closer Than A Brother.

I have some wonderful friends. I don't know how that's happened, because I'm so far from perfect, and honestly just plain don't try to be perfect nearly as often as a lot of people do. But still, these friends -- these true friends -- they stick around, and they love me in my ugliest form.

The Bible speaks of the type of "friend who sticks closer than a brother."
I've just had a text exchange with my sister that reinforces the thoughts I've had for so long: that would have to be one truly, out of this world, amazing friend.

And, of course, that Friend literally is out of this world, because the Friend the Bible speaks of is Jesus. Who I am utterly grateful for, and Who didn't have to try to be perfect (He just was), and Whose ultimate, bloody, incomprehensible sacrifice has made abundant life possible for me.

So among these amazing friends I've acquired, and ridiculously wonderful cousins who I think more of as siblings, and this one-of-a-kind sister who probably should've disowned me years ago, I'm really thankful that when Scripture gives me that analogy, I know its profound significance.

And I am grateful, and humbled, and undeserving, and really, at the end of a day like this, pretty speechless to be loved that much.

30 Days of Thanksgiving.

If you're on Facebook or Twitter, you might've seen the "30 Days of Thanksgiving" trend popping up in your newsfeed. 


I know I already do the "5 things I'm grateful for" posts (kind of sporadically), but I am participating in the 30-day trend, and will try to update my blog weekly with each day's reason for thanksgiving throughout the month.




So far, my list includes:

  • Day 30: I'm grateful for the chance to have gone places I've fallen in mad, eternal love with. DC, NYC, Boston, St. Louis...
  • Day 29: I'm thankful for exposure to variety, and that it fascinates and compels me to do and be more.
  • Day 28: Very grateful I haven't had foot issues forever & that I didn't deal w/ them during weddings or while traveling.
  • Day 27: I appreciate every day and with deep fervor each of the broken roads that've led me straight to here.
  • Day 26: Grateful for family who are also friends. 
  • Day 25: Beyond thankful for grace -- God's and man's.
  • Day 24: I'm so grateful to live in the land of the free. The ability to do, be & believe what I choose is a precious gift. 
Stay tuned for more. :-)


Saturday, October 29, 2011

5 Things I'm Thankful for Today.

Five things I'm grateful for at this second are:


1. Fall.

2. Weekends.

3. Fulfilling work.

4. Friends and family who love me past my flaws.

5. Energy.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Free and 1/2

Today, I turn 35. That marks three decades of my life, plus five years.

Since I've rarely felt my age, and since in the past year, I've done quite a few very new things for me, I kind of find it appropriate to count the decades, and to say it the way a child would: free.

This works well for me, since in the past year, along with having several new adventures, I've also explored a new sense of freedom from my past, my present (and what I don't like about it), and my future (to claim my journey).

I've been free to discover my passion, and I'm even getting paid to realize that on a daily basis at work. That's really nice.

It's gradual, but I'm freeing myself from extraneous feelings and people and items that aren't contributing productivity to my life.

I even, by the grace of God, am in the process of freedom from some very deep-rooted ghosts that I've allowed to keep me from spiritual growth.

Finally, on the literal heels of what turned out to be a nasty foot issue, I freed myself from the misnomer that just because I'd been told to fatten up all my life, I didn't need to keep up that performance.

All this freedom is in the works, but it's very liberating.

I really like that 35 marks three and a half decades, just because "free and 1/2" has a fun ring to it.

While freedom comes with a high price (as well it should), it also comes with a great sense of, well, liberty. Joyousness. Exploration. Possibilities. Adventures.

I'm thankful for those, even with the prices I've paid to get to the levels of liberation I'm experiencing.

So, happy birthday to me. And let the good times roll.

I'm free and a half! :-)




"I have come that they might have life, and have it more abundantly." John 10:10


Sunday, October 16, 2011

5 (foot-related) things I'm thankful for.

5. Doctors who specialize in my issue.

4. Not having this in BOTH feet. (Ouch.)

3. Not having to chase anyone around. Like children.

2. Not being in a relationship with someone who would focus on his embarrassment from my being in tennis shoes 24/7.

1. Painkillers. Alleve. Etc.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

An Apple A Day.

The first time I snow skied, I remember thinking, "I got to EXPERIENCE the snow!"


As a true southerner, I'd always been fascinated by the wintry weather, but skiing gave me an opportunity to participate in something I'd been in awe of for so long. It was incredible.

My interaction with Steve Jobs' products and services did not affect me  in a big way on a beginner level slope, or later when I reminisced on that one-time adventure.

I sort of grew up, technologically, under his tutelage.

Of course I'm awestruck by his products, their design, the packaging, and even the name -- not to mention ridiculous coolness level of -- the genius bar. Even reading spoofs of Steve Jobs' chill, go-from-geek-to-guru, experiential personality quirks has left me thinking, "Dang. How does that just HAPPEN?"

Besides bringing together the amazingly complex pieces of technology, design, products, services, and finance into a seamlessly beautiful puzzle, Steve Jobs changed the world I live in.

Someone said he was our generation's Thomas Edison. Another said our daVinci.

I say Steve Jobs made my entrance into technology in the work world not just a job skill, but an experience, and one I enjoyed. In large part, because of this man's brilliance and vision, I loved technology long before a device smaller than my hand could hold 8 days' worth of music that I handpicked.
When technology wasn't yet personal or social for me, I'd already fallen into mad love with it.

Many of the quotes I've seen tonight from Steve Jobs have focused on living in the now, pursuing dreams, doing what it takes to make visions happen, and savoring life.

While it's achingly sad for such a generational icon's life to have been cut so short, it's also uncannily providential that his legacy speaks unarguably to dreaming and living. Right now.

I'd say whether it keeps the doctor away or not, that's the kind of apple I need to partake in every day.

RIP, Steve Jobs. You made technology fun to experience, and you made this geek feel cool.

Thanks for that.







Written on my iPhone.
 
 

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

The Fifth Element.

Five things I'm thankful for today are:
5. Peace of mind.
4. Friends who support & love me.
3. Fun mail.
2. A car.
1. Books.

Monday, September 5, 2011

To All the Foods I've Loved Before.

In the past few years, I've gained quite a bit of weight. It's not pretty.

I won't blame it on the food, since this problem only started after I hit 30, but I would like to pay some homage to the lovely, decadent delicacies I enjoyed (whenever, in whatever quantities) before my notably agist metabolism screeched to a halt:

     
  • Bread. Sure, people talked about carbs (blah, blah, blah), but WHO KNEW?! I literally ate entire
    loaves of French bread between Gulfport and Saucier during college, but never dreamed this could be an issue. Until the ominous age of 32, that is. Now I could look at a bag of flour and only cancel it out by spending three days and nights at the gym. I miss you, bread.

  • Chocolate. Right?! I know that sounds crazy, but it's true. Apparently it's not normal to be able to wake up famished at 3am and dig into a bag of Hershey's Kisses with no repercussions...until you're 32. Gotta watch that. Hmmpfh.

  • Anything involving flour. (See #1.). I know this sounds weird, but it's true. Pasta. Biscuits (which, technically, is bread). Dumplings. Cake. Cookies. Hush puppies! All these things are included in the first bullet. Though I was never addicted to all of them like I was just plain bread. Sigh.

  • Desserts. See last bullet.

  • Anything else. It appears it doesn't matter what I eat. Now that my metabolism is anti-RJ, I could literally eat lettuce 24/7 and it will not make the slightest difference. I wish I was exaggerating.

So, my point is, I clearly cannot eat whatever, whenever, in however much quantity.You might ask, why blog about this?

Good question.

I blog about this to tell those people who enjoy no-risk binging this: ENJOY IT. Really. Whether or not it will ever end, just enjoy it. It's like good hair, or clear skin, or nice bone structure. You did nothing to deserve or earn it, but not everyone has the privilege. So enjoy!

Also, I submit the following note to the foods I've loved before (including, but not in any way limited to: pastas, baked goods, white rice, breads of all varieties, buffalo wings, ice creams, fatty granola bars, sugary cereals, deceptively tiny candies, boudin balls, etc):

Dear All The Foods I've Loved Before:

You were so good, but not necessarily good to me. (It's not your fault. I didn't know, either.)

So, I wish you the best in your endeavors. Unlike other unhealthy relationships in my life, I'm not saying goodbye forever, but rather, see you later. I won't see you as often as in the past, but I won't cut you out altogether. I just need you in low-dosages now.

And, finally, while you're not necessarily GOOD for society as a whole, it's really not you. It's me.

That is all.

Love,
rj







5 things I'm thankful for.

Five things I'm grateful for today are:
5. Tropical weather that doesn't get serious.
4. Holidays!
3. A hint of fall in the air.
2. Books. Books. Books!
1. Electricity. (See #5.)