when I grow up

I have been trying unsuccessfully for the past three days to figure out how to post blogs to a private, "preferred" list. Since I never got the hang of it, I still want to blog what I originally had on my mind....it'll just be significantly scaled down. (I can handle it if you can.)

Last weekend, I was indulging in a very regular self-spoiling session of getting my nails done when I recognized someone I used to see regularly a few years back. We were really only acquaintances, so even though this (embarrassingly enough) goes against my nature, I didn't feel compelled to flag her down and say hi. As luck would have it, though, the one time I tried to be an adult and refrain from pointless gabbing, she recognized me and immediately requested the chair next to mine so we could "have a nice little chat while getting our nails done - isn't this just SO fun?"

(By the way, I use quotation marks when I'm quoting someone. Just an FYI.)

Anyway, during our manicure-length interview -- ahem, I mean "chat" -- I remembered something that maybe I need to be reminded of at this stage of the game: If I weren't where I am now, I could be a totally different person.

Ok, so maybe that wouldn't be an epiphany for you, but I do often need to be reminded that taking a different path is the making of a different rebekah. For instance, if I had not moved to Jackson, I would be a different girlio today. Good? Bad? Better? Best? Worst? Who knows. (Personally, I think I'm more fun now, but I digress.)

And if I were still working at the job I had right out of college, I'm pretty sure I would not have developed some of the skills I've gotten to hone in my field...and I definitely wouldn't have encountered some of my favorite people now! And if I still hung out with those acquaintances from way back when, I think some interesting traits would have rubbed off on me a little more than I care to explore. (Sadly, I'm easily influenced.)

So while I thoroughly loved living on my coast and in Hattiesburg, I'm glad the move to Jackson happened when it did. And while the Realtors association was a great place to cut my professional teeth and learn a lot of the PR ins and outs that are now second nature to me, it was definitely time to move on when I did.

And though the friends and churches and relationships and cliques and organizations I've encountered throughout my life have molded me and shaped me in ways I could possibly still use, I believe that listening to where I need to stand now is more important than prolonging something after its expiration date has come and gone.

Coincidentally (or not?), I've been reflecting a lot on these things lately and deeply wondering about my current place in relation to various organizations...trade associations, church, service groups, etc. A girl can get seriously burned out by committing to too much, but what is the recipe for me to be the best me I can be and still give back to the things that have been such a vital part of who I am? And further still, how do I know the best places for me to be involved? For instance, I should be doing something with the community, but what exactly? I should be active in some church, but which church has a rebekah-sized hole? Etc. I suppose the right answer is to pray about it, but I find myself wondering when I should just get a move on and do something about all this.

With that said, as I'm sure you can imagine, this blast-from-the-past (and rather perky) interaction really made me view things a little differently than I did when I walked into the salon. I mean, MANY of the things that bothered me about this convo are definitely things I'm guilty of! Yikes. I hate that.
After all that "chatting," internalizing, mulling and pondering while inhaling nail-related chemicals, I'd like to share with you what I came away with (besides pretty nails).

When and if I grow up, these are the things I hope for:
*a genuine spirit
*a desire for others to be the best they can be, no matter what or when or where that is
*a low level of curiosity about and high level of respect for others' private lives
*contentment with my own world that supercedes my need to judge others' worlds like a bad talent show
*the gift of gablessness (as opposed to gab) when the time comes to just BE, rather than talk aimlessly about nothing
*discernment about when, where and how much to socialize
*a discarded cookie-cutter mold of how everyone's life should turn out, and an embraced openness about experiences different from my own

And finally, I SINCERELY hope my fakeness will always end with my nails and never reach my smile!

Lessons noted.

5 Comments - 10 Kudos

I love your blogs. Not only are they entertaining but they give me the "truth" in life that I always need. You help keep me sane, thanks. P.S. I wished I lived n Jackson to share some of these great moments with you ;)
Posted by Carrie on July 25, 2007 - Wednesday 6:40 PM

RJ, I love having a friend like you! Your blogs always make me smile, and this one is no exception! Love you girl!
Posted by Ashley on July 26, 2007 - Thursday 8:43 AM

well said bekah....
Posted by monica on July 30, 2007 - Monday 2:47 PM

my little white cotton puff

I often joke about inviting my friends and coworkers to step into the lap of luxury when they ride with me, because my little white getaway mobile is so very un-new and un-trendy. It's a 2001 Chevy Cavalier with manual everything (except transmission, of course -- I'm still a girly girl who never got past her fear of The Clutch). Most people, I'm sure, see me buzzing around and inwardly shake their heads, wondering what my deal is. Why won't I just suck it up and purchase a new, fun car?

That's a great question. I mean, for crying out loud, brand new cars, trucks and SUVs are being assembled less than 100 feet away from my desk each day. But while I do love the new car look and smell, and admit freely that nothing compares to the feel of vroom beneath my latest 5 1/2 strappy heel purchase, at this point in life I'm an even bigger fan of less-is-more. And even though my little white getaway mobile is on the older side, it's clean, it works, and for the love of Pete, it's paid for.

So it was undergoing some maintenance this month and I've been driving other (newer, more automated) cars. Chevy Impala. Chrysler 300. Ford Escape. (All made long after the turn of the century, mind you.)

But I hafta say...nothing compared to the feeling I had when I manually unlocked my familiar door today and stepped back into my world. My paid for, working, tidy little world. It really made me smile. I think it's the sense of comfort, peace of mind, and overall contentment that keep me attached to my current stage of life, including that much-worn car.

And that's why as of today, my little white getaway mobile will forevermore be synonymously referred to as my little white cotton puff, thanks to Liz. Because, after all, at this stage of the game, comfort, peace of mind, and overall contentment definitely are the fabric of my life.

4 Comments - 4 Kudos

THREE CHEERS for Rebekah from Work!! You are totally right! I love my little green F-150 as well..it's as broken-in, seat-just-th-way-I-like-it, feels like home and PAID OFF!! I do applaud you for not falling for the "gotta have more" this world is always throwing at us! I'll be sure and honk and proudly waive at the next "more mature" vehicle I see on the road. Thanks for the post! -Rebecca the sister
Posted by Rebecca on July 23, 2007 - Monday 11:39 AM


I love it!! Rebekah-you are my very favorite REDHEAD! I am cracking up!! I am one of those that are trying to find myself and usually do it by getting a "new" (used) car pretty often although I think I have found true love with my '02 Lexus RX300 Coach Edition and I've had it almost a year! I love the way it wizzes aound and my very favorite part? Its GOLD all the way down. Not one of those two-toned ones. Her name is Goldie and she's been faithful thus far. My problem is that I have Champagne taste but live on a Beer Budget!! My ultimate dream car? The 2007 Infiniti QX56
Posted by DENITA on July 25, 2007 - Wednesday 5:27 PM