Thursday, November 22, 2007

amnesia

So yesterday I visited this church in the BR that I'm not sure I will be visiting again -- it was fine, just not exactly what I'm looking for -- and tonight while I'm kind of blah, something the pastor said just came back to me.

He talked about "spiritual amnesia" and humans' tendency to forget by Friday the closeness they felt to God on Wednesday, to forget in 2006 the miracle they experienced in 2002, etc.

I think tonight, I'm experiencing thankfulness amnesia. We just came out of the holiday season aimed directly at reminding us of all we have to be thankful for, and here I am, blah as can be. What's the deal? IDK, but I should really snap out of it.

"Samantha Who?" may be my new favorite show, but amnesia is definitely not for me.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

silly rj

It's that time of the year again, which means silly rebekah is in her mushy mode and has to thank everyone in her life for making it what it is. I appreciate the connections I've rediscovered through this site and hope each of you have a precious Thanksgiving season!

Be safe if you're traveling, and much love to you all.

Friday, November 16, 2007

It’s something unpredictable, but in the end it’s right.

This week I had to make a surprise trip to our Gulfport office. This isn't a bad thing -- so far, I've gotten to tie in visits with family and sometimes even friends when I'm there -- it was just really unexpected, especially having the news come about an hour before close of business on Wednesday when I was supposed to leave at 6:30am on Thursday. But since the meetings I needed to attend held info that would be valuable for me in the long run, I changed the plans and made the trip. I had no idea that not only would I not get to see any friends or family during the jaunt, I would also get to see parts of myself I'd tucked far, far away, deep inside the heart of rj.

I made the trip with a coworker who'd already reserved one of our pool cars to go. This coworker and I are friends -- we are both in Marketing and do lunch together often -- but so far have been really connected by another Marketing girl whom I happened to get to know before this one. So this was the first rj/Shannon one-on-one time, and I really had a blast.

Much laughter, two long meetings, hundreds of miles and many stories into the trip, we delved on the way home tonight into a subject I haven't discussed with anyone in a while: spirituality. I have needed to discuss this subject; I've even wanted to discuss it. The topic just hasn't come up (nor have I broached it).

As always, it was terribly refreshing to meet and talk intelligently with someone who shares the same (what I hope I can call of myself) purity of heart and interest in a life well-lived. But it was also equally refreshing to share brutal honesty and slacking stories with someone whom I knew from prior convos would not judge me, but whom would be honest with me about her thoughts and feelings on particular matters.

I do love being female. I think this invisible bond that connects us all is so amazing. I also love being a redhead, and being quirky (even a bit crazy at times), and being a Southern girl (can 31-year-olds still be girls? Hmmm). And even more than that, I love being transparent and free and clear to discuss what's on my mind and heart, even when it might not be socially (or spritually) acceptable or timed correctly.

So I had the amazing experience of bonding, sharing, exchanging heartfelt feelings, ideas and laughter with someone whom I also get to work and lunch with -- and while on a work trip.

So at the end of what has felt like a very long day, I hafta say, the surprise Gulfport trip was a good surprise, even if I didn't get to catch up with old friends or even my parents.

And without doubt, I had one of the more memorable times of my life.

1 Comments - 2 Kudos

We all need these conversations! And so often don't realize who is already in place nearby to share them with. I'm so glad you felt free and hope that the feeling lasts and the friendship has just begun!
Posted by lotts2tel on November 20, 2007 - Tuesday 8:19 PM

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Indian giver

Last week, I got the cutest little birthday card from my 3-year-old nephew. The cover said, "Happy birthday to my aunt." Inside, the card read, "You're sort of like my mom away from mom." Too cute, right? But there's more!

According to my sister, Caleb felt the card needed more numbers (when you think about it, kids' cards are all about the big colorful numbers), so he added 10-25-07 and 31. He also drew a shark, a jellyfish, the sun, the moon, and "a boat for Bekah in Baton Rouge," all nicely labeled by my sister.

When I was talking to Kim yesterday, I could hear Caleb singing in the background so I asked her to tell him how much I love my card. While she was putting him on the phone, I could hear him protesting, "I know she wants to talk to me, but I can't right now -- I have things to do!" Finally, after some mother/son discussion, his little voice chimed loud and clear, "Hey Bekah! Love you Bekah! Bye Bekah!"

I said, "Wait! Caleb! I just wanted to tell you how much I loved my sweet birthday card. You did such a great job of drawing on it...the sun, moon, jellyfish, shark, and boat for Baton Rouge...they were wonderful! And all those numbers you wrote -- you are such a big boy!"

After a few seconds of silence, Caleb emphatically stated, "I want that card back."

Trying to muffle my laughter, I heard Kim exclaim in the background, "Caleb Levi! That was Aunt Bekah's birthday card."

Ever the politician, he replied, "Well, it's not her birthday anymore."

Clearly, the boy knows a good piece of art when he sees -- or creates -- it.


3 Comments - 6 Kudos

Again, sounds very much like my Kimberly. Too Cute!
Posted by Just Music on November 13, 2007 - Tuesday 10:58 PM

That is hilarious!
Posted by Bethanie on November 14, 2007 - Wednesday 4:45 PM

That is so funny! I can so picture Hailey saying something like that!
Posted by Wendy on November 19, 2007 - Monday 1:58 PM

Sunday, November 11, 2007

letter I do intend to send

Author's note: While I do intend to send (give) this letter to C as we celebrate his birthday this weekend, I have not yet done so. So if you happen to read it then see him, he may not have read it yet. Grazie for your attention to that small detail!

A very wise (yet extraordinarily young) person once told me, "The secret's in the sauce." Over. And over. And over again. (And then some more, in case I might have forgotten.)

Despite the number of times I heard this mantra over the past seven years -- or has it been eight? -- I never argued with his theory, but I admittedly always internally pondered if perhaps the secret wasn't in the meat itself, or how it was cooked, or in its seasoning. Or who knew? Maybe the secret was really in how hungry the diners were, or even in the love and effort it took for the chef to prepare the meal itself. (There is value in that, you know.)

In due time, I began to sense that though this guy may not be aware of it, he was applying his theory to many more rooms in life than just his kitchen. And since he was and is in my life, his theory about the sauce's secret has affected me as well.

I can't quite pinpoint when it started, but sometime between the fall of 1999 and the fall of 2007, I have gradually come to discern that yes, the base of a thing itself is important -- quality, consistency, quality, durability, quality, afforadibility, quality, accessibility, quality ;-) -- but there is definitely something special about that extra oomph when it's added to just about anything, including (but not limited to):
chicken
jokes (can we say delivery and timing?)
conversation
sadness
eggs
injuries (not that I had any of those during the nLife...)
irritating days
fish
irritating weeks
happy times
grief
steak
vacations
hard times
adventures
mourning
grits
opening pains of new chapters
closing pains of old chapters
risotto
difficult decisions
moving
soup
miles of separation between us
new friends coming in
old friends going out
sandwiches
differences
gumbo
similarities
inadvertently erasing vacation memories from a camera and sobbing on the plane ride back
vegetables

You see, the wise (young) man is my boyfriend, but before he was my boyfriend, he was my best friend. And truth be known, I was a little scared a couple of years ago when the infamous "C" and I first transitioned from friends to dating, because how could I be sure that the laid back, relaxed fun we could always count on would still be there? Work would be involved with a real, defined relationship. Scheduled time together. And most frightening of all, what if I became his obligation rather than his choice...and vice versa. And the list went on and on.

But rather than cracking the boyfriend whip and keeping me on my very frightened toes, this funny, intelligent, incredibly hardworking man of men showed me the the most important work we had to do in our relationship was to continue the mutual respect and trust that was the trademark of our very solid friendship for so many years, and to have the fun that comes so naturally to us as a pair in the process. And so far, my only obligation to him is to be myself, to be honest with him, and to expect the same from him.

In the past two years of dating Carl, I've really come to appreciate the quality of the "meal" itself while tasting and appreciating so many more of the "sauces" -- fun in any setting, variety, road trips, new hobbies, investment ventures, technology exploration. And the best part is that I know there are even more accents we'll discover to enhance the Grade A friendship our entire dating relationship has been based on since it started.

So in honor of my best friend's 36th birthday, I offer a "sauce" from another, whose skills are much more eloquent than mine:

Your birthday,
as my own,
to me
is dear.
For mine
did only lend
me to the
world -- yours
gave to me
a friend.

(St. Francis of Assisi)

It took me a while to grasp the concept, but I think I'm learning that the secret may really be in the sauce after all. Wisdom does have its advantages.

Many thanks, Chef Blackburn. And happy birthday to you.

with much love,
rebekah :-)

Sunday, November 4, 2007

deep breaths

So I've been having these really weird dreams lately. I mean, my dreams are always a little off kilter but these have been even more off than usual. So for totally unrelated reasons, I decided to jet off to Jacktown this weekend for some good R&R with good friends, familiar sights, and one heck of a great boyfriend.
I'm thoroughly enjoying where I am and what I'm doing, but after having been sick and moving to a new place in the same week, things are definitely in a state of unrest, to say the least. I knew I would be going out of town some again this week and weekend, but the thought of a weekend of unpacking was just way too daunting, so I did what any self-respecting Southern girl does when the goin' gets tough. The tough got goin' and I got the heck out of dodge.

Even though the unpacking fairies had not come to my little Baton Rouge townhouse as I had hoped while I was away, the rebekah-centered part of my plan worked. I took many deep breaths and just enjoyed being. I liked that. I hung out with C and enjoyed many great meals and moments with him, including a night of voices gone hoarse, blood pressure gone high and texts gone wild with Jams (live from Tuscaloosa) as the Tigers fought their way to a rather tough victory over Alabama. And talk about relaxation...I got to have brunch -- brunch!!! -- and incredible quality girl time with two of my best good girlfriends (invaluable, Skye and Bethanie). I saw sweet Rachel while watching the game and even got to pop into Liz and SD's for a few minutes (nice do, Kate). And when it came time to leave, it was nice knowing that even though C and I will both face a full work week and I'll make the trek to J-town again this coming weekend, there were no Sunday deadlines to meet or plans to keep up with. There's nothing like low-key.

Happy sighs. Deep breaths. Good times. And maybe -- hopefully -- sweeter dreams.


2 Comments - 3 Kudos

The girly-time brunch & shopping was much-needed for me as well. LOVED it!
Posted by Bethanie on November 5, 2007 - Monday 4:49 PM

Yay! Good for you. I always love stopping by to see how things are going. :)
Posted by Just Music on November 7, 2007 - Wednesday 12:48 AM