I would be terrible at pricing things for retail. I'd also make a pretty rotten salesperson. My elementary school fundraiser efforts usually ended with my asking the neighbors if they were SURE they needed that candle, because I'd hate for them to buy it just on my account.
I'm equally bad about how I value myself, deep down. I mean, sure -- I know I'm loved, I know I'm treasured, and I know I have a skill or two. I don't take lightly my amazing support system, and hopefully, everyone has people in their lives to reassure them of that.
But if I had to put a price tag on RJ; well, I'd do what I'd do with sellable items: look around and compare my value to other similar things. Which when it comes to me looking at the (wo)man in the mirror, is not going to make any dents in the market.
Of all the people my blunders have affected, I'm the one who knows them best, and can relive them with a mere thought. Of every one of my quirks lifelong friends can list, I have five more to add. Of all my efforts at betterment you could point out, I could highlight the many, many, MANY times I've failed. And remind you that in a hundred ways, I have yet to truly succeed.
Maybe because of my skills at these things, as I was shower-singing one of my all-time favorite Christmas carols today, a certain lyric of "O Holy Night" resonated with me:
Long lay the world
In sin and error pining
Till He appeared
And the soul felt its worth.
And I was reminded, we're not just celebrating the pre-inserted standard calendar's birthday of a heroic man whose political activism or philanthropy or inventive genius changed the world I know.
Christmas, and every moment of Christianity, is about realizing that the self-worth I price at rock bottom takes a 180-degree sticker shock once my Lord and Savior appraises it.
With self-help and weight loss sections growing like chia pets in bookstores, we as a world are clearly looking to place higher value on these bodies and souls we live in.
Our final hope for happiness doesn't lie in cutting out carbs (and having a BRAND NEW BODY in just six days!!!). And I'm sad to say that finding everlasting bliss and calm won't be achieved through daily "guided" meditation.
What does significantly up the way we view ourselves, however, is looking at our humanity through the omniscient eyes of a loving God who, for reasons beyond our imaginations, thought, "They don't have to be losers. Let's give 'em a chance."
And He appeared, in the form of childbirth far from a posh birthing suite, in the custody of Joe the Plumber-type parents who really didn't have this in their 5-year plan. (Or at least not in this order, I'd imagine.)
And prophesies came true, and the literal and spiritual world changed, and the collective soul of humankind felt its Divine worth for once, versus the shabby, tainted way we view ourselves.
No more dollar store pricing for us. In the eyes of our Savior, we're beyond Madison Avenue caliber. Which for me, both takes some pressure off, and pushes me to re-appraise RJ and how she's giving thanks for this precious gift.
O holy night, indeed!
Merry Christmas to us all.