pieces of me

I've always heard jokes about people falling apart when they reached a certain age. At least, I thought they were joking. Then I turned 30.

If you know me well (and let's face it, you do; you're my MySpace friend), then you already know that falling apart and getting old have never been fears of mine. Don't get me wrong; I have my own phobias -- mainly about spiders and commitment -- but birthdays just aren't on that list. I love birthdays! So what if I'm getting older? Each year has brought so much more life along with it...why would I trade that for a smaller number next to "age" on forms? (Plus, there's the candles. I'm all about some fire.)

So obviously, I'm into birthdays, not weirded out by them.

Until this year.

Somehow, come mid-October, I began falling apart. Seriously. My blood pressure skyrocketed (I know...IDK either. My doctor's still trying to figure it out.), migraines hit, regular events became frightening and painful issues.... I could go on and on. (Trust me, I could. And we all know you don't want me to.)

(You're welcome.)

So, anyway, amidst scheduling more doctor's appointments, having daily blood pressure checks, taking (a ridiculous number of) sick days, adding WebMD to my Internet favorites, making trips to the grocery store for low-sodium foods and initiating health-related conversations, a girl's gotta wonder...

...what if I am falling apart?

It's not such an outrageous question. I mean, I have developed a personal relationship with my pharmacist in the last 6 months. And I can quote some blood pressure stats that would spin most 30-year-olds' brain cells into centrifugal force. And -- I truly hesitate to put this on the information superhighway, but -- when I was Christmas shopping this year, I actually stopped to weigh pros and cons of various pillboxes. (Yes, pillboxes. And sadly, I don't mean the fun, retro hats.)

But, I suppose it's nice that I did get to Christmas shop. (Without actually purchasing a pillbox -- though they were very organized and separated daytime and nighttime scrips!)

And my doctor did rule out certain illnesses, which was quite a relief.

And despite my increased dosages of medications, I can still be me and have fun and drive and work and Google when I have a worry or concern.

And I got to play with my sweet nephew all during the Christmas holidays, including building some amazing train track configurations, wrestling like two red-headed pros, and simultaneously laughing hysterically over Tractor's funny antics.

And I can function on my own and live in peaceful solitude and have my life and have my fun (as long as I'm a good girl and take my meds).

So the clear ephiphany is...I'm not falling apart after all. Maybe this is simply an opportune time for the little rebekah inside my head to stop her busyness and playing for a few minutes, and to start examining all those pieces that make up the rebekah everyone else sees: the things that make her happy, sad, relaxed, agitated, comfortable, silly, low-talking, productive, sensitive, loving...or whatever else the moment may bring.

So I'm making an attempt to do just that with a little more grace than before. Because my 30th birthday really was fun, and I'm sure the ones to follow can only get better...no matter how many prescriptions continue to decorate my medicine cabinet.

But I'm also encouraging every 29-year-old I know to start boosting up their immune systems and TAKE VITAMINS!

9 Comments - 12 Kudos

This is great, rj. It's like part Sarah Jessica Parker, part Dave Barry. Entertaining! Reflective! Just plain good for everybody...

...kinda like Grandma.

Seriously, though, thoroughly enjoyable.
Posted by Jams on February 1, 2007 - Thursday 8:46 PM

watch it, sonny boy... I have a cane, and I know where you reside all day, every day...
Posted by Arr-Jay on February 1, 2007 - Thursday 10:45 PM


As a 28 year old, that was inspiring! I am completely opposite. I have been dreading the BIG 3-0 ever since 26! I do love birthdays, but just for the gifts. Now I am even more excited to turn 30!! Gee...can't wait, sounds like it's a blast!
Posted by Rachel on February 2, 2007 - Friday 7:22 AM

Arr-Jay... I have to say our friend in the wet suit and flippers has exactly the right idea! I wish I could say... that I 'didn't have a 'pillbox'. You have given me an entirely new perspective to what people must think when the see my pillbox. Thank God that life continues moving forward... not backward, because it is nice to know that there are 'infinite possibilities' for change and growth. I am 32 years old today... that is all... I am actually looking forward to my 30s being my best years... well... I am going to MAKE SURE OF IT... how's that?
Posted by Just Music on February 3, 2007 - Saturday 4:45 AM

Michelle
Wait til you throw kids in the scenerio! Not only does your body fall apart but your mind goes to hell. By the way, my thirties have been the best so far. Everyone older says 34-35 was their best years.
Posted by Michelle on February 2, 2007 - Friday 8:40 AM

hahaha, thats great... there was this girl i worked w/ for a little while, she was a little strange. anyway, she said she could read palms... whatever (i said she was strange), so i said "ok read mine" she tells me that i am going to die when i'm 30... so that's what I had to look forward to while i was 29.... what a load of garbage b/c now i am 31....she didn't last long at the job. and now i think she delivers pizza. so i guess the palm reading business didn't work out for her either.
my advice, go buy a roll of duct tape. seriously. and put it somewhere you see it everyday, and the next time you feel like your falling apart just remember that it can fix anything.... it probably won't work but it might make you laugh because you'll be reminded of how dumb of an idea this is!
Posted by hibbs is what they call me on February 2, 2007 - Friday 1:27 PM