I'm not really sure if I'll ever figure out how to set these blogs to "private," so this could end up being a widespread blog instead of one just meant for close friends' eyes. Whatever the case, I guess it's time to just put it out there: IDK what is going on with me. I think I'm experiencing for the first time what I've heard about for so many years -- those "holiday blues" or whatever. That never made sense to me before this year -- how can you be sad around the holidays? -- but it's starting to really become clearer to me.
Yes, I'm sure a lot of this is stemming from my recent move...I don't know. I mean, I wasn't exactly on top of the world before I moved, either, so maybe it was just bound to happen, wherever I was. Of course, I feel better when I'm around friends and C and family and anyone who gets my mind off this funk I'm experiencing, but it's still there, deep down, no matter what. I hate it.
Also, I have a very special aunt who is in serious condition, and thinking about that doesn't help very much either. But I don't know. It's just....weird....and I know I'm not the only person who's ever felt this way, but I'm not used to it, so I'm starting to wonder if I'll ever feel normal again.
John Mayer has this great song about a quarter-life crisis. I've always been about 5 years behind the rest of my age group in terms of growing up, so maybe that's it. Maybe I'm experiencing that quarter-life crisis in my 30s.
Whatever the case, I still want to wish everyone a wonderful Christmas and the most sincere hope that the world can feel merry and bright. There are so many people who have meant so much to me in so many ways -- Christmas cards could never fully express that. And if I could ask that while you're praying for those big items...cure for cancer, peace on earth, etc...I would appreciate one for the little redhead, too, to figure out what in the world is going on and to bounce out of this nastiness.
With much love and many wishes for the merriest of Christmases and the happiest of new years,
Aw, Bekah.....You're way to pretty for soo many worries. It is difficult during the holidays, a usually perfect time, when things in your life aren't so perfect and I'll pray for you that it won't be so bad. You can come here if you'd like. My kids will be sure to cheer you up. I truly hope you find deep heart warming cheer but if not know that it's ok, it's just life ;)Merry Christmas!
Posted by Carrie on December 23, 2007 - Sunday 10:25 PM