frequently asked questions

After a recent trip home to the MS Gulf Coast for a family funeral and an encounter with about 100 people I used to be closely affiliated with, it has come to my attention that it would be wise for me to remember that the next time I'm in that situation, bringing copies of RJ's FAQs would dearly come in handy (and save my poor voice and brain from the repititious talking).

For inquiring minds, the handout would include the following questions to date. (BTW, if I had any sense at all, I would have typed these up before my trip instead of waiting till now!)

Q: You don't live around here anymore, do you?
A: No (ma'am or sir), I moved away after college for a job opportunity.

Q: Are you still up there in -- where was it? -- Jackson?
A: Actually, I just moved from Jackson to Baton Rouge a few months ago.

Depending on the interviewer's personal opinion about the home state of the Saints, the following question(s) may or may not come next:

Q: Baton Rouge? Why would you want to live in Baton Rouge -- Louisiana -- Cajun country?!
A: Well, I moved there for a job, and I'm actually really enjoying it a lot.

Q: What sort of job would make you want to move to Louisiana?
A: I'm doing public relations for Hancock Bank, so I do get to come to Gulfport for work a lot.

Q: Surely you're not an LSU fan...?
A: Actually, I am! And what a football season to become one, right?

After a (not necessarily discreet) glance at my ring finger:

Q: Are you married?
A: No (ma'am or sir), I'm not married. I am dating a great guy, though -- you'd really like him.

Q: Why aren't you married?
A: Well, I think timing is very important, and I just haven't woken up yet with that desire. Thankfully, neither has he, so that makes it much nicer! Plus, I am very afraid of divorce.

Q: No kids?
A: No (ma'am or sir) -- but Kim has the cutest little boy, who is entertainment enough for us all!

If the previous answer does not fly, the next question is sure to follow:

Q: Why don't you have kids yet?
A: Well, again, the timing should probably be right for marriage before I take that step...

And the list goes on.



1 Comments - 2 Kudos

That is one of funniest things I've ever seen! Maybe because I was there as a witness. Oh, and the fact that I was being asked similar questions, such as:

Q: Are you divorced? (Don't be scared of it, it is actually quite liberating)
A: No, I just like to bring other women to family funerals

Q: Why don't you have kids?
A: Quite frankly I don't care to much for them, I am selfish, and I don't want to bring one into this crappy world. Enough info for you WBC gossip.

Q: Do you still have that store?
A: Well, you obviously weren't a good customer if you didn't realize the Vietnamese people working there and the fried rice in the kitchen!

So on and so forth.

Posted by Greg Mo on February 15, 2008 - Friday 9:23 PM